Broken Thinking, Broken Life

Adulterous affairs on business trips. Relapses into addiction after years of sobriety. Violent explosions of temper. I have seen so many seemingly good people inexplicably find themselves in situations they swore they would never be in. In each circumstance the question was the same, “What happened?” The answer was, and is, never a single thing. Tragic outcomes are typically the result of a string of bad decisions.

I think of the married patient who came to be fearful he had contracted an STD from a sexual encounter with a stranger he met in a hotel bar while on a business trip. “I made a bad decision,” was his initial explanation.

“You made a lot of bad decisions,” was my reply, “You had to run through a lot of stop signs on the road before you crashed.” I reviewed with him the bad choices. He chose to go to the bar, to make eye contact with the woman and to buy her a drink and engage in conversation. No one forced him to complement her appearance or to go to her hotel room. He could have, and should have, said “No,” so many times. Just one “No,” may have been the difference between marriage and divorce.

As we talked I thought about how his fall did not begin with wrong action but with wrong thinking. Each bad decision was preceded by a bad thought. Thoughts such as “What is wrong with buying a drink?” or “It is just harmless conversation” were the first signs of danger. I wondered if the first wrong thoughts were negative ones about his wife. Were there unchecked feelings of resentment or dissatisfaction with her appearance that led to his wandering eye? Had he quit thinking of her as a gift from God? Had she become "just another woman" in his mind?

As I look back on my life I can see that every foolish or destructive act I have made was preceded by erroneous thinking. This seems to be the fate of all mankind. We are all plagued with self-deception. The process is described in the New Testament-

“Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.” James 1:14-15 NLT

James description of the process points us to the solution. When we allow our wrong desires to take hold, when we allow them to simmer unchecked, wrong action is the natural consequence. It is hard to stop the locomotive once it reaches full speed. We need to challenge our thinking and reject the thoughts that lead us astray the moment they enter our minds, to make sure the train never leaves the station!

I know from experience that challenging negative thoughts is worth the effort. Intentionally rejecting negative thoughts about my wife has allowed a deep love and appreciation to grow and flourish, a love and appreciation that causes all other women to pale in comparison. Progress has been slower when it comes to anger, but I have seen that the more I intentionally reject demeaning or degrading thoughts about others and the more I consider them to be children of God the kinder and more patient I become. It seems that when I fight the battle at the level of thought that bad behavior is far less likely.

Which leads to the question- What is going on in your head?

-          Bart

You can listen to more on this topic on the sermons page. I expound on the topic in Part 1 of the series, “A Disease Called Sin.” If you would like me to come and speak to your church event or function, I can be reached on the Contact page. I can also be followed on twitter @bartbarrettmd, or on Facebook at Bart Barrett, MD.

Talking to Yourself Can be a Good Thing

Mornings can be difficult. Some days begin with the feeling that the problems of the day are too much, the challenges too difficult, the work to hard. It seems that you just can’t do it all again. How do find the strength to do it all one more time?

The late pastor and Bible teacher D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones gave an eloquent answer to this problem in his book “Spiritual Depression.” He wrote that we need “to not let our selves speak to us but instead we need to speak to ourselves.”

Out of personal brokenness and fallen nature come negative thoughts and emotions that can drag us down. If we listen to these thoughts, we can find ourselves struggling with depression and discouragement.

The solution? Talk back to ourselves! We need to question and challenge these negative emotions with truth. As I have been "blessed" with anxiety disorder there are many mornings when I need to do this. Here are some of the truths that I speak to my self and that help me get through each day-

- God has gotten you through every other day, He will get you through today.

- It's not about what people think, it's about what God thinks and He knows your  heart.

- You do not need to fear failure, God knows your weaknesses and loves you anyway

- God will give you the strength to do what you need to do when you need to do it.

- This life is not all there is, your hope is eternal

-God judges you based not on your failures or successes but by Christ's sacrifice, so there is no need for fear

I say words like these, take a few deep breaths and then tell myself, “Okay, let’s do this.” And somehow, with help of God, I do, one day at a time.

- Bart

Comments? Please share them! Questions? Please send them! I am on twitter @bartbarrettmd and on Facebook at Bart Barrett, MD. 

He Lost His Sight, But Not His Hope

In a moment his vision was gone. It took with it his business and livelihood, his ability to read and his plans for the future but it could not take away his hope.

Fred has always been  a decent, hard-working, God-loving family man. Everything he had he worked for. He started his own painting business within a few years of graduating high school. He had his priorities in order, saving enough money to buy a home by the time he was 22 years old. He married young and he and his wife welcomed three sons before they were 35. Life was good.

He worked alone, he liked it better that way. He could have made more money if he had hired employees and expanded the business but he decided early on that it was easier and better if he did the work on his own. He loved his work and took pride in making homes look their best. My office was one of the last jobs Fred did before losing his sight. He picked the color scheme and painted it himself. It is gorgeous.

He had been born with one eye significantly weaker than the other, so much so that his vision was monocular. When his dominant eye had the equivalent of a stroke the weak eye was unable to help. In a moment his vision was reduced to colors and shapes. He cannot recognize faces well (until they are within about five feet) so the beauty of his wife’s smile is only appreciated up close.  He cannot drive and cannot paint any longer. The hardworking man is now permanently disabled.

He is disabled but he is not despairing. Fred is a man of deep faith, a man who believes that this life is not all there is, a man who believes that the eternity that awaits matters infinitely more than the temporary struggles, pains and challenges earthly life brings.

Fred’s faith has truly shined through the difficulties of the last few months. He and his family shed many tears and shared intense moments of grief as they adjusted to the new realities they face. There was sadness as he hopefully sought other medical opinions that confirmed the permanent vision loss and as he closed down his business and applied for permanent disability. 

I ran into Fred and his wife recently while out to lunch with the family. He was smiling and upbeat, more concerned with my knee arthritis than he was with his ongoing struggles. When I asked how they were doing smiles came to their faces. They were in the final stages of starting new careers working as chaplains for local hospitals and community groups! Fred expressed hope and confidence that sharing his story would encourage others who were facing difficult circumstances. It is his greatest wish that he would be able to share with others how the hope for eternity brought by his Christian faith could be their hope as well.

As we talked I was encouraged. Our discussion reminded me how important it is to focus on our ultimate destination and not on the detours and difficulties of the journey and how important it is to remind others of this hope. When all is said and done, when we stand and give account to our creator for our lives, it is not our wealth and accolades that will matter. It will be our faith and our faithfulness that will determine our destiny. By these measures Fred is doing well indeed.

- Bart

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Are You Smart Enough to be President?

“Do you believe in evolution?”

There are a number of questions I would ask an aspiring presidential candidate if given the chance, but this is not one of them. In a world where ISIS is on the move in Iraq and Iran is working to develop nuclear capability, where nations in Europe are facing overwhelming debt and Russia has invaded Ukraine, in a nation with so many underemployed or not looking for work and with congress seemingly unable to accomplish anything, a candidate’s views on the origins of life seem rather irrelevant.

Nevertheless this is the question posed to Wisconsin governor Scott Walker by a British journalist during his recent trip to London. Some folks back home were critical of Walker’s dodge of the question and attacked him for being anti-science. The question was a bit of a set-up, for Walker is the son of a Baptist minister and likely to believe that God played a role in the creation of the universe. This belief in God has not hampered his ability to govern the state of Wisconsin so it is silly to make it an issue. That did not stop the journalist from asking it.

So why was the question asked? I believe it was an attempt to find a way to easily discredit Governor Walker. The reasoning seems to be that intelligent people believe in science and since evolution is science believing in it is a measure of one’s intelligence. There is only one problem with this reasoning. It is false.

As a physician I took a LOT of biology courses, including biochemistry, molecular biology and evolutionary biology. I learned the material well enough to graduate Magna Cum Laude. People have accused me of many things over the years but I have never been called unintelligent.

In spite of all of this education I don’t believe the theory of evolution provides a reasonable explanation for the complexity of life we see on earth. While evolution may have appeared reasonable in the time of Darwin advances in molecular biology and genetics have revealed obstacles to the theory that Darwin could not have imagined.

A single gene for a single protein can consist of thousands of units of DNA. The protein can be non-functional if a few units are lost, changed or out of place (sometimes a single mutation can be damaging). This means that for evolution to occur thousands of molecules need to randomly line up in perfect order. Even if that were to occur, the new protein would be useless unless it improved the function of the organism, which means that several thousand other randoms things needed to occur as well. This is a monumental challenge! When we think of the amount of DNA that would have to be correctly assembled to code for such dramatic developments as sight or flight the odds against evolution are, from a molecular perspective, even more astronomical. This makes random evolution statistically impossible.

As impossible as I believe it to be, the point of this post is not to debate evolution. The complexity of such a discussion is beyond the scope of any blog. The point is that intelligent, well-educated and reasonable people, people who are well-versed in the subject, can reach the conclusion that the theory of evolution does not adequately explain the observable world. This conclusion is thoughtful and rational. Because of this, Scott Walker does not need to shy away from his beliefs and neither do any of us who believe in a Creator. 

The manner in which we can confidently assert our faith was illustrated several years ago when I engaged a friend in a discussion about evolution. He initiated the discussion at a baseball game. He considered himself an "Evolution buff" and well-versed on the subject. In spite of this he did not have a basic understanding of molecular biology or genetics or of the remarkable complexity of life. When confronted with the reality of the massive amount of information needed to encode for the simplest life forms he assumed a defensive posture and retorted, “Well, You can’t prove there is a God!” My reply caught him off guard.

“I do not need to,” I responded. “The burden of proof is on the person with the least likely explanation. Say we were walking together on a beach and came across sea shells scattered on the shore. You declared that the shells were carried there by the waves, I disagreed and said a child with a basket had come along and scattered the shells on the sand. In such a case the burden of proof would be on me.

If we came across sea shells that spelled out the words “Have a Nice Day,” and you again declared the work of the ocean and I again argued for the work of a child, the burden of proof would be on you.

The amount of information contained in the simplest life form is infinitely greater that a few words on the beach. You day it is random chance, I say it is a sign of an Intelligent Being. I do not need to prove anything. You have the least likely explanation. The burden of proof is on you.”

With that the discussion ended. He did not walk away convinced of my position but I do believe he walked away knowing that my position was neither naïve or ignorant. Something to think about the next time someone is mocked for believing in a Creator.

-          Bart

If you have an interest in learning more about the subject I encourage you to check out Reasons to Believe, an organization of scientists and researchers who believe in a Creator. Remember you can share this post with friends, subscribe to the blog and receive posts via email, or follow me on twitter @bartbarrettmd

It's a Zit Emergency!

“My son needs see the doctor about his acne, TOMORROW!” The receptionist was caught off guard and unsure how to respond. While it is our policy to always see patients who have an urgent she was pretty sure that there was no such thing as a zit emergency. The call came on a Thursday afternoon and we were booked solid on Friday so she decided not to work the patient in. She took a message and told him we would call him back later.

At the end of the day they brought the message to my attention. It seemed a little absurd and unreasonable to the staff that someone could expect to be seen last minute for pimples. I almost never turn a patient away but they let me know this was not a time to go soft.  They told me that I spoil my patients and do not say “No” enough and they made it clear that this was a time when I should put my foot down.

“This is ridiculous!” they said, “they should have planned ahead of time. It is not your responsibility to bail them out because they forgot!” The rant lasted a few minutes/

They were right on every count. It was absurd and unreasonable. No doctor could reasonably be expected to squeeze in a last minute pimple appointment. (Pun intended!) They should have planned in advance and it was not my responsibility that they hadn't. I had every right to deny the request and no one could tell me I was wrong if I did.

But the thought came to me, “Is it only about being in the right?”

I thought about my Christian faith, which teaches that all people have gone astray and turned against God’s plan, and that we are all deserving of punishment. I thought that God could have looked at me and said, “You are going to hell!” and He would have been RIGHT. But God didn’t do that. He looked at me in my ridiculous stupidity and wrongness and decided that instead of punishing me, He would send His Son instead. He overlooked my wrongness and went above and beyond to help me.

With that in mind I told my staff that while we could turn the patient away and be “right”, overlooking their wrongness would only add 15 minutes to my workday. So together we all agreed that we were right and the patient was wrong, but that we would see the patient anyway, because that is how we would want to be treated.

We saw the patient the next day and I refilled the acne medication. I do not think that he appreciated or understood that he was being done a favor or that a special allowance had been made. That was okay. For me, the reminder that it is not always about being right was its own reward.

-          Bart

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