Caught in the Act. Calling out Hypocrisy

He was a new patient who had been referred to me by his girlfriend. As we introduced ourselves we talked briefly about their relationship and how long they had been together. He told me they were serious and had been living together for a while. As we spoke the conversation turned to her recent diagnosis of a severely abnormal PAP smear. I asked if she was worried or stressed out by the news.

“Not at all!” he replied, “When she came home and told me I laid hands on her and we prayed for healing, so we know everything will be all right.”

Remarkably he did not catch the irony in his words. Unremarkably, I did and pointed it out with a question. “May I ask you something?” I asked. He nodded affirmatively. “How is it that your faith is strong enough to cause you to pray for her healing  but not strong enough to keep you out of her pants?”

He did not respond immediately and I thought he might be angry. He paused for a moment and said, “You got me doc. I don’t have an answer.” I told him that it was interesting to me that without knowing of my faith (I had made no mention of it up to this point) he had so openly declared to me both his strong faith and his decision to reject one of its central moral teachings. “Something to consider,” I said and moved on to his reason for coming in.

I wish I could say that stories like this are rare but they are not. I frequently encounter individuals who speak openly about what they believe yet are equally open about behaviors and actions that are contrary to their faith. In these circumstances it is not the moral failings that surprise me, for all of us struggle every day. It is the lack of shame and remorse about their sin that is disturbing. Somehow the Biblical teaching about sin and its consequences has been overlooked or ignored. How does this happen?

I wonder if it might be the result of churches focusing on attendance numbers as a sign of God’s favor and blessing. When numbers become the focus there is a danger of altering the message to improve its appeal. Change is hard and repentance is an uncomfortable concept so sin is de-emphasized and acceptance becomes the message. “God loves you just as you are!” is proclaimed but the rest of the truth, that because we are broken sinners God desires to transform us, is downplayed if it is taught at all.

While many Christians may not be aware of this weak commitment to the whole Gospel, the contradiction it represents is readily apparent to those outside the church. When we emphasize the sin of those who do not share our faith and neglect our own sin we come across as hypocritical, shallow and unbelieving.

The solution to this problem is simple. Churches and pastors need to return to the teaching of the whole Gospel, the Good News that we are saved from our sin that we may sin no longer, that we are no longer slaves to our desires but freed to live as Children of God. When confronted with the truth about our sins and failings we need to address them and change. The turning away from sin is a powerful testimony.

The patient in the story did just that. When he returned for a follow up visit just a few months away he had a ring on his hand and a smile on his face! He was a hypocrite no more!

-          Bart

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A Little Boy's Birthday, A Mother's Suicide

On their birthdays, nine year-old little boys should not come home from school and find their mother dead. John did.

I met John when he was in his early twenties. My church had decided to rent a large home in a local neighborhood and open it up to young men who were homeless and needed a fresh start. My best friend was put in charge of the ministry and he invited me to come along and help. I cooked and cleaned and supervised the house when he was gone. I was only 19 but I was committed and responsible. I was also ill equipped and unprepared for men like John.

John was down on his luck, jobless and out of money when someone from the church happened to meet him. The home had just opened and the church member thought we could help John get back on his feet so he brought him by. We sat down with John, told him the house rules and agreed to let him stay. It did not take long for me to learn John’s story and discover how difficult his past had been and how challenging the road ahead was going to be.

On John’s 9th birthday he had come home from school and found his mother in the garage, hanging by her neck from the rafters. She had committed suicide. Happy Birthday John. The remainder of John’s childhood involved temporary homes and terrible insecurity. He did not receive the counseling and love he needed and his young life was filled with more emotional pain than he could handle. When he became a teen he took solace in drugs and they ravaged his body. His gaunt, pale and pock-marked face declared to the world that he was someone who was unhealthy both inside and out. He lacked social skills, job skills and self-discipline.

John was a talker and we spent many late evenings together in conversation. Whenever we talked about the future, about what he would need to do to make a life for himself, he would turn the conversation to the tragedy of his past. It was as if he was saying that it was impossible for someone with his past to ever succeed in life, as if what his mother had done had sealed his destiny. It seemed he thought he was supposed to fail and that as a result any effort he made to succeed, any attempt at normalcy, every job interview and each day of sobriety, was to be praised and celebrated. He craved the unconditional love that he had been denied as a child.

Unfortunately for John, each small step forward was typically accompanied by a stumble or a fall. It was difficult to give him the praise he desired and desperately needed as it would have required us to ignore behaviors that were harmful. He needed so much more than we were able to give. Eventually he left, unable to keep a job our follow the rules. I do not know if he ever turned his life around.

Looking back, I think our church leadership was naïve in its approach to the ministry. It was as if they believed that all troubled young men needed was a place to live and Jesus. The thinking seemed to be that if they had a bed to sleep in, food to eat and a Bible to read that all would be okay. There was no talk of providing professional counseling or 12-step programs, no concept of the years it would take for someone like John to change and grow. We had good hearts and intentions but lacked the training and expertise.

In spite of our inadequacies it was not the church’s fault that John did not succeed. We did give him a chance he otherwise would not have had. He was given some good advice and an opportunity to change yet because of his troubled past he was unwilling or unable to listen to and receive the counsel of others. In spite of the reality that all of his choices had resulted in disastrous outcomes he continued to make his choices alone, refused to submit to the leadership of others. He could not fully trust others and trusting himself was futile. He needed so much more than we could give and needed to do so much more than he was willing.

I will never forget John and the lessons he taught me. I have encountered many “Johns” in my 20 years of practice, men and women with terrible pasts who face terrible futures. I still struggle to find a way to encourage them to get the help they need and still mourn when I see them make bad decisions. Whenever I counsel people like John I am reminded of how crucial love and direction are early in life, how children need to be taught to be healthy. Without a healthy foundation a healthy life is hard to build.

-          Bart

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Where Have the Good Men Gone?

“All that is required for evil to triumph is that good men do nothing,” so said the great English politician Edmund Burke. Recent events have proven his words as true now as they were over 200 years ago.

DEA agents stationed overseas were found to have been engaging in sex parties funded by drug cartels. Over a period of at least five years agents repeatedly threw caution to the wind and participated in lascivious parties held in buildings leased by the US government. At least seven agents were directly involved in the misconduct with many others involved in covering up the behavior. Supervisors were made aware of their behavior but chose to ignore it. When news of the misconduct came to light  DEA officials obstructed the investigation.

Hearing the story I found myself asking, “Where were the good men?” If just one person had taken a stand and spoken up about the wrongdoing the problem could have been handled quickly, harm prevented and embarrassment avoided. No one did.

In Atlanta, the city has been torn apart by a scandal that has rocked its largest school district. 34 educators either plead guilty or were convicted of racketeering in a  6 year scheme to fraudulently raise standardized test scores. Investigators found evidence of cheating by 180 educators in 44 schools. As bonuses were handed out based on student performance on the exams the teachers and administrators received thousands of dollars from the government for their lies.

Hearing of a scandal this widespread and involving so many people I find myself asking, “Where were the good people?” Was there not one person who had the courage to stand up and say, “This is wrong!” It seems no one did.

Courage is required because standing against the crowd is risky. Rejection, anger and isolation may await, there is a chance that one will not be heard, that pain may come and change may not. Faced with such personal danger, where can one find the courage to stand?

It must come both from within us and beyond us. To stand we must have a deep rooted conviction within ourselves that evil cannot be allowed to win out. We must have faith that there is a God who sees and who will ultimately judge men according to their works. Only then will we be able to speak out. Only then will we see good men and women rise up against evil. In a world where values are disappearing the need for a few good men has never been greater.

- Bart

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A Christian Physician's Thoughts on Bruce Jenner

This last week seems to have been “Transgender Week” on television. NBC News devoted lengthy segments of its nightly broadcasts to stories about parents who had determined their young children to be transgender and were raising them as such. ABC aired a 2 hour interview with Bruce Jenner in which he declared he was a woman and would be living as one for the rest of his life. In each of the stories, embracing one’s transgender reality was portrayed as brave and courageous and as the right thing to do. As a Christian Physician I was left wondering how I would respond to a patient or a parent in a similar circumstance. What would be the right thing to say?

As I ponder the question I am struck by how society’s definition of the “right” thing to say has evolved over time. In the not too distant past individuals who identified as transgender were considered to have a psychiatric condition that warranted treatment. Homosexuality was similarly considered to be a disorder at one time. What changed? Many assume that it was advances in scientific understanding of sexuality and gender identity that led to the change, that with increased understanding came more widespread acceptance.

The truth is that there have not been any major scientific breakthroughs in the area, that no genes have been isolated nor hormonal alterations identified. While it is possible that such discoveries may be forthcoming the increased acceptance of the medical and scientific communities has not been a result of traditional research. The reasons for the change in perception are primarily cultural and arise from a change in how society defines normal behavior.

Our nation was founded by people who were, at least in the large majority, religious in a Christian sense. Our founding document, the Declaration of Independence, made it clear that the fundamental rights of men were a gift of God. We were “endowed by our Creator with certain inalienable rights, among them life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” As rights came from God so did the definition of what was right and what was wrong. Moral law was established by God, not defined by men.

Over time the emphasis drifted away from the Creator who gives rights and more to the rights that are given. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness continue to be sacrosanct, but their definitions have become individualized. Happiness is now defined not as a result of doing what is right in the eyes of God but in doing what is right in the eyes of the individual. Liberty is no longer defined as the freedom to do right but as the freedom to do as one pleases. Autonomy is everything.

With this evolution of thought comes the rejection of a universal moral law. Right and wrong behavior are determined, whenever feasible, as what is felt to be right or wrong by the individual actor at a particular moment in time. Behaviors that were unquestionably wrong become first tolerated, then accepted, then embraced and then ultimately defended against those who would disagree.

In the realm of sexuality this cultural evolution can be seen in our views toward premarital and extramarital sex, abortion, homosexuality and same sex marriage. Societal attitudes toward the transgendered are similarly evolving. Attitudes toward the polyamorous are in the early stages of gaining societal acceptance. In every one of these cases scientific “validation” has followed the cultural change, not preceded it.

This is how it must be in such things, for biology can never prove morality. While saying “I was born this way” requires others to give careful consideration to the feelings of another and to proceed with caution in responding, it is not proof of goodness or rightness. There are many conditions with which people are born that are considered unacceptable and in need of correction. Medical conditions such as cystic fibrosis and sickle-cell anemia, and mental conditions such as schizophrenia and alcoholism are not considered acceptable simply because the patient was “born that way.” If pedophilia is one day discovered to be genetic it will not be instantly considered acceptable and appropriate. Science can never prove morality and goodness.

The recognition that moral values, not scientific facts, determine societal responses to sexuality is crucial in determining how we respond to the Bruce Jenners of the world. As a Christian physician, if I am asked by a parent how they should respond to a child who they thought was transgendered my response would be different from other physicians, for my moral viewpoint is different. I would have to preface my response by addressing the basis for any response the parent could make.

I would say that how we respond is based on what we believe. The Christian worldview is that right and wrong are not determined by our feelings but by God. It is true that everyone has feelings and desires, many which they are born with and cannot change. It is also true that everyone has a choice as to which feelings they embrace and follow and which feelings they do not. The Christian view is that when we follow those feelings which are good in God’s eyes we will experience blessing, in the next life if not in this one. If the parent embraces this viewpoint they will need to get professional help in responding to their child in such a way that allows them to accept the reality of their feelings and what that means for their future, in helping their child determine God’s plan for their life and how they can live with the feelings and desires given them at birth.

The secular worldview is that right and wrong are not absolute and that our understanding of morality evolves over time. Many in our culture have concluded that multiple forms of sexual identity and desire are acceptable and good. From this perspective parents would be more apt to encourage the child to "follow their heart." I would also encourage parents who embrace this perspective to get professional help in responding to their child in such a way that allows them to accept the reality of their feelings and what that means for their future, in helping their child recognize which feelings are enduring and should be embraced and which are temporary and need not be followed.

As our societal evolution has progressed to the point of aggressively defending individual moral choices against those who disagree (in some cases to the point of punishing those who do not embrace majority thought), Christians need to be especially careful in how we respond to these situations. It seems to me that the best initial response is to say that while many may disagree, we are of the opinion that right and wrong are determined by God and not by men and that not all feelings need to be followed.

-          Bart

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Being Popular Can be Bad for You

I was not popular in high school. I was well known (identical twins usually are, twice the exposure at half the price) but I was not popular. I lost more elections than Mitt Romney including for sophomore class president, Student Body leadership and the ultimate defeat, president of the Chess Club. I was a dweeb.

It is one thing to pursue popularity as an adolescent, it is another thing altogether to pursue it as an adult. It seems that for some adults the need to be popular increases with age. If there is anything reality TV teaches us is that people will go to ridiculous lengths to be a celebrity. Ordinary life just isn’t good enough. Everybody wants to be a star and nobody wants to admit that achieving stardom is not dependent on how badly one wants it.

It seems fame is incredibly addictive, as even in small amounts it leads to people wasting their lives trying to gain it again. Almost every high school reunion includes once popular people incapable of dealing with the reality that no one cares anymore. There are a number of reality shows such as “The Apprentice” and “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here” that provide fading stars with one last chance to shine and there seems to be no shortage of formerly famous people willing to participate.

Watching these shows leads me to ponder how much these people have lost in their pursuit of fame. Multiple marriages and rehab stints seem to be a common theme. True happiness, contentment and meaningful relationships are rare. It seems that the price of fame is tragically high.

I flirted with fame a few months ago. My blog post on measles spread around the world. It reached over 5 million readers and was published in a Norwegian newspaper. Over 3000 people subscribed to the blog and comments flooded my inbox. It was pretty heady stuff. It didn’t last. My follow up post reached 30,000 views and subsequent posts were seen by fewer and fewer people. I found myself wondering what I could write about that would catch fire, what it was that people wanted to read, how I could reach that summit again.

Then I gave up. I realized that if I focused on what people wanted to hear I would lose something in the process. There is much about which I am passionate that is not popular. My Christian worldview is not universally embraced and is even offensive to some. Popularity might require that I constrain myself and not share my heart. I realized that success wasn’t worth it. I returned to writing what was on my heart. The number of subscribers has dwindled but I am okay with that. I have learned the lesson of high school, that being popular isn't what it is cracked up to be.

What leads to popularity and success in high school does not often translate to success in the next life. While I was easily discounted back in the day the life I have today is truly remarkable. I have a successful marriage, wonderful children, a strong faith and a rewarding career. My life after high school is so blessed as to make any of the lost recognition irrelevant.

I think this is true in the eternal sense as well. Success and praise in this life is often not compatible with success in the next one. People who pursue fame and adulation here on earth may be sacrificing what matters in the next. The ultimate winners are those who grasp this truth and live with eternity in mind. The adulation of millions means nothing compared to the joy that awaits those who have gained the favor of God.

-          Bart

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