200 Blind Dates

Meeting new people makes me nervous. I have a big mouth and a strong personality, both of which can result in negative first impressions. Unfortunately for me my personal foibles carry over into my professional life. I am blessed to be liked by the majority of my patients but I at times struggle to make positive first impressions. There is so much that can go wrong the first time someone comes to the office.

I worry about wait times in the waiting room and in the office, about looking at the computer screen too long as I enter all of the patient’s health information, about addressing each and every concern, and about listening well and communicating clearly. I even worry about my appearance and grooming.

Each new patient interaction reminds me of how people must feel when they go on a blind date. You want to like the other person but find yourself analyzing everything about them while at the same time hoping not to make a fool of yourself. It is an incredibly stressful situation for a doctor who battles anxiety.

My anxiety has been in full force for the last few weeks. A local doctor in the community retired and my medical group transferred 200 patients into my practice. I find myself going on several medical “blind dates” each day. Most of the interactions have gone well (I think, no negative Yelp reviews- yet!) but there have been challenges. The retired physician seems to not have been completely up to date on all of his practices. Recommending changes in medications and treatment strategies to someone you have just met can be extremely delicate. I find myself exhausted at the end of each day.

I am certain it has not been easy for the patients either. It is not easy to put your health in the hands of a stranger. It is even more difficult when someone else picked the stranger on your behalf, when through no fault of your own you lost a physician you trusted. Some patients were transferred in the middle of care for serious problems and wondered if treatments would be delayed and if they would lose their specialists. These patients were understandably fearful.

In spite of the challenges and anxious moments these last few weeks have brought with them a valuable life lesson. I have been repeatedly reminded of the importance of communication, patience, grace and understanding. I have seen how taking a little more time and explaining a little more carefully can ease someone’s fears. I need to apply this in all of my social interactions. Kindness matters.

-          Bart

Words That Changed the World

2000 years ago on a hillside Northern Israel Jesus spoke words that turned religious thinking upside down. He spoke of humility and service, of weakness as the path to strength and of faith that came from the heart. Today we call His words The Sermon on the Mount. His teachings on that day are still radical and powerful.

Not too long ago I had the opportunity to teach on the most famous section of His sermon, The Beatitudes. Here is the first part of that series-

This is something new for me, as I have not uploaded videos to the blog before. Let me know your thoughts and comments! If, after watching the video, you are interested in having me come and speak to your church or community group, please contact me through the website. 

A Family Doctor Rant

I love my job and particularly enjoy taking care of my patients. Most of the time. Every once in a while I find myself in an unexpected debate with a patient over a straight forward issue. Some of these debates make me want to scream. In order to save my lungs and my sanity, I have decided to resolve some of the debates here.

1-Cholesterol medications are safe.

They have been prescribed for decades and have a long record of safety and effectiveness. They decrease heart attack risk by 20%. If you run into the patient I saw recently who was convinced that everyone who takes statins has complications and felt the need to argue this with me, tell him he is just plain wrong.

2-Colon cancer screening is the best cancer prevention test ever.

1 in 20 Americans get colon cancer. Less than 1 in 2000 people have a complication from colonoscopy. Sorry, patient who “had a friend” who told her the procedure was dangerous, but when you are 100 times more likely to be helped by a test than be hurt by it, you should get the test done.

3-Diabetes is a serious disease that needs serious attention.

Particularly for those individuals who are on insulin, consistent meals, in both timing and content, are a crucial part of managing the disease. Some of my patients with sky high blood sugars try to tell me that they can do it “their way”, but they are wrong. Winging it doesn’t work with diabetes.

4-The Physician/Patient relationship is a true partnership.

Good health care happens when patients and doctors work together. No, Mr. High Blood Pressure, you don’t get to take your blood pressure medications 3 months out of the year and expect to remain a patient in my practice! An essential truth about medications- they don't work if you leave them in the bottle!

5-“Feeling Good” and “Being Healthy” are not the same thing.

One might think, given all of the focus on prevention, that this truth was obvious. It isn’t. We have many patients who refuse to come in for follow up, refuse to get tests done and who haven’t had a check up in years. This is understandable when someone is 20 years-old but hard to accept when someone is 75. I had no choice but to accept it this week- a patient  hung up on me when I called to remind him!

I share these stories for two reasons. The first is to encourage people to not be one of these patients. Doctors do have the best interests of patients in mind and work hard to do a good job. It is incredibly frustrating to have to argue to get people to do the right thing. The second reason is to encourage a little grace when your doctor is grumpy. You never know what he may have been dealing with in the previous exam room!

Bart

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Ignorant. Naive. Married

We were not ready for marriage. We were young, in love and we had no idea what we were getting into. I had a part-job, no money in the bank, an 8-year old Ford Mustang in questionable condition and lacked definitive career plans. Lisa’s marital resume was limited as well but much more impressive.  She had money in the bank, a full-time job as a registered dental assistant and a solid head on her shoulders. Her Mustang was a classic, built in 1965, and paid for. 

People told us we were too young (I was 20, Lisa was 21) and that we hadn’t been together long enough (we had known each other for 5 months). The pastor was stern when he told us that he had serious concerns about our prospects. My reply, “We love God and we love each other, what more do we need?” was dismissed as simplistic and immature.

We didn’t listen to the naysayers. On July 16, 1982, in our church in Fullerton, Lisa walked down the orange-carpeted aisle of the chapel, took my hand and agreed to be my wife. The ceremony was short and simple. It was an evening wedding and the night flew by. Our reception at the church consisted of cake, punch and a receiving line. We had changed out of our wedding attire and were on the road to our honeymoon shortly after 10.

Our honeymoon was simple as we were poor and could not afford anything extravagant. We went to San Diego, where we went to the beach, Sea World and the zoo and spent the week loving the fact that we were together. It was strange to be alone together and away from home on our own. It was so new, we felt as if we were doing something wrong and could get caught at any minute, or wake up and be alone again. It was new and strange, but we were happy.

34 years later we are still happy. Loving God and loving each other was enough, as we have aggressively pursued both goals. Because we love God, we share common values that have allowed us to find our way through disagreements and been willing to admit we when we are wrong. We understood that love is more than a feeling and we have been committed to putting each other ahead of ourselves, to forgiving one another and encouraging one another. It has not always been easy but our future together has never been in doubt.

Each year on our anniversary we look back on our young selves and laugh at how idealistic we were, how clueless we were, and how unprepared we were for all that was ahead of us. And we thank God for the truth that we would do it all again. 

Bart (& Lisa) 

&%#@- Words Matter

“It was f---ing crazy!”

Foul language doesn’t usually surprise me. Over the last few decades vulgar speech has become increasingly common and can be heard in almost every setting and circumstance. This particular instance of the f-bomb caught me off guard because of the speech that had preceded it.

The F-bomber and I had just been engaged in a casual conversation at the gym. We do not know each other well but we have had a number of gym conversations, enough for us to know one another’s professions and injuries. There had also been enough passing references to faith to lead us to consider one another to be Christians. On this particular evening he had talked about his pastor and how he had been helping the pastor get in better shape.

Thirty seconds later, while talking with someone else in the gym, his speech became more colorful. I was surprised, not by the fact that he swore, but at the ease with which he transitioned from spiritual to vulgar dialogue. It was clear that he did not think word choice mattered at all.

The next morning I had a medical appointment to get my knee brace adjusted. The brace adjuster is a nice man I have seen on a number of occasions to get my custom brace sized and fitted. In the course of our session I had learned that he was active in his church, hosting a small group Bible study and serving as a camp counselor for a week each summer at a camp for troubled children. In the course of my brief visit with him he used all of the language I had heard in the gym the night before. He did so with ease and without hesitation. It was clear that this was how he talked all of the time. I drove home thinking, “When did Christians quit caring about the language they used?”

My childhood home was anything but Christian and vulgarity was common. My step-father had been a sailor and he cursed like one. Like the father in the movie “A Christmas Story” profanity was an art form to my step-dad. In spite of his foul language I grew up with a clear understanding of the difference between good words and bad words. I learned that good people used good words whenever possible.

While I may be out of touch with current social mores, my sense that there are words that should not be spoken by good people, particularly Christians, is not a belief of my own invention. The idea that there is speech unbecoming godly people was clearly described by the apostle Paul almost two thousand years ago-

“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” Eph 5:3-4 NIV

Paul makes it clear that what we say matters. Christians are to be heavenly minded people who are continually thinking of the world in the context of their faith. As people who embrace the reality that we have been saved from our sin and called to be different we should seek to be better and different in every aspect of our lives. The desire to be different and better should extend to our speech as well as our actions. True followers of Christ take His teaching that “the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart.”

Taking Jesus’ words to heart leads to the conclusion that our words matter. When, over and over again, God calls His people to be holy, he is calling His people to be clearly distinct from the world around them. It seems this teaching that Christians need to strive for higher standards of behavior has been swept under the church carpet.

My greatest concern is not that Christians use bad words. Far more important is what the casual use of profanity represents. Too many Christians are no longer concerned with sin. Excellence is no longer a virtue or a goal. It seems that many believe it more important to display our commonality with those outside the church than it is to show our differences. We are more concerned with being “one of the guys” than we are with being “one of the chosen.”

People of faith will do well to consider Paul’s instructions in a letter to his friend and protégé Timothy to “set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.” 1 Tim 4:12

Bart

Thanks for reading and for sharing. Comments and questions are welcomed.