Fighting to be Thankful

I woke up Thanksgiving morning feeling more stressed than thankful. While not unaware of the blessings that fill my life, these blessings have recently taken a back seat to stress. Turnover in the office, conflict in some relationships, a recurrence of chronic pain issues and even a sick dog have weighed heavily on my mind. My morning began with a tinge of sadness and I found myself reflecting on more negatives than positives.

A tweet helped change my mind.

The tweet was from Don Willett, Texas Supreme Court Justice. It featured the picture in this post with the comment, “This Thanksgiving, remember with gratitude America’s peerless military, far from home & close to danger.” I did what as Justice Willet suggested, and took time to remember the blessings secured and preserved by the millions of men and women who have served.

I remembered that I live in a free nation, with a free economy in which I am blessed not only to have a job, but to own my own business. I go to work when I choose, leave when I choose, pay my employees what I choose to pay them and am free to do what I believe is in my patients’ best interests.

I am free to worship. Each Sunday morning, I wake up with the ability to not only go to church, but to choose which church to go to. The pastors are free to preach whatever they want without fear of recrimination or arrest. I am free to give to the church of my choice and the money I give is not taxed by the government.

I am free to vote. I may not always like the choices I find in the ballot booth but I am free to vote, or not vote, for whomever I want. The candidates are chosen by the people, not by the government.

I am free to speak out. I can criticize the government, I can march against perceived oppression, and can stand on a street corner with a sign supporting or denouncing any cause or position I choose.

I have all of these rights and hundreds more because someone else fought for them. My ability to sit with my family to eat Thanksgiving dinner today exists because of others who have sacrificed time with their families in order to preserve my freedoms, which is a lot to be thankful for.

Bart

A Silly Game, Enduring Values

It was a stupid, simplistic table game. As we were too young to know we should have been bored to tears by its lack of sophistication we played it over and over. The game was called “'Tis so” and it was based on the Old Testament book of Proverbs. Its purpose was to teach proverbs to young kids. It worked.

The game consisted of small 1.5 inch by 0.5 inch pieces of cardboard that each had a portion of a proverb written on one side. Proverbs were divided into three sections with the words for a particular proverb all written with the same color font. The goal was to collect the three parts of a proverb and then lay them out in front of you in a fashion similar to the card game “Go Fish.” The player who had the most proverbs in front of them won the game. Pretty simple concept but it had a profound impact on me.

It was through this game that I learned a proverb that has shaped my life-

A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver and gold. Proverbs 22:1

I was only 10 years old but I understood what the verse meant. There is nothing in life more important than your character. It was clear to me that if I was ever forced to choose between doing the right thing and making money that the right thing should always win out. Good men never count the cost before doing the right thing. From that time on I set my sights on the lofty goal of being a good man. Although I ended up pursuing a well paying job wealth was irrelevant compared to integrity. What mattered the most was who I was inside, not the stuff I possessed.

I have worked hard to instill this value in my children. When my son was in 4th grade we went to his parent/teacher conference. When we sat down with the teacher she briefly mentioned some behavioral issues our son had displayed, that he had been mean to a special needs child. She quickly told us that the issue had been dealt with and then tried to move on to a discussion of his stellar academic performance.

To her surprise and chagrin we had no interest in discussing his classroom performance. “I know he is smart,” I said, “I am more concerned about his character.” I told her I would rather my son be a trash collector with character than a dishonest President of the United States. I backed up my beliefs when we went home.

We learned that he and another student had been picking on another child while they all played on the school's new and very popular playground equipment. We told him that he was banned from that equipment for the rest of the school year, a total of 8 months. “Every time you see the other kids having fun on that playground I want you to remember why you can’t" I said,  “We are Barretts, we don’t pick on the weak, we defend them.” We said nothing about his academic success. Both my son and his teacher learned that day that in our eyes character was more important than worldly success.

It seems that the values found in Proverbs 22:1 are increasingly on the decline in our nation. We just completed an election cycle led by individuals who seem to believe that character is irrelevant. All that mattered was winning by any means possible. This seems to be the  new American way, which means we have lost out way as a nation. People cheat in business, on exams and in their marriages. There was once a time when a handshake sealed an agreement, we now live in an era where promises are made to be broken. 

I cannot change America but I may still be able to make a difference. It is my hope and prayer that I will be a honorable and trustworthy man and as a result encourage those around me to do the same. I may not end up rich, but perhaps I can leave this world with something of greater value. A good name.

Bart

Complaining About Everything and Changing Nothing. Thoughts on Protesting Trump.

I don’t get yelled at by patients very often but when I do there is one question I want to ask the offended and angry person. “What are you hoping to accomplish by yelling at me?”

I have been yelled at more than once for not prescribing antibiotics for a viral infection. Each time I wondered if the patient thought my medical opinion was so weakly held that it would change once a certain decibel level had been reached, if antibiotics were indicated not based on the severity of the infection but on the anger of the patient.

I have had patients yell and scream over the cost of an office visit. Some have threatened to seek care elsewhere if I did not waive my fees, apparently oblivious to the fact that no doctor wants patients who don’t pay their bills in their practice. Their behavior guaranteed an outcome opposite of the one they were seeking. Instead of begging them to stay I was glad to see them go.

These encounters came to mind this week as I watched the anti-Trump demonstrations. While Donald Trump has given Americans myriad reasons to be upset and angry I find myself wondering, “What are they trying to accomplish?”

There is no chance of a do-over. Elections do not work that way. No amount of yelling is going to change Trump’s mind. No clever sign or intensely chanted slogan is going to change the outcome. Instead of persuading others the most likely result of these protests is to galvanize those who against them. Those who voted for Trump rightly feel that their vote is being devalued and attacked. The natural result will be greater support for Trump among his voters and those who almost voted for him, making his policies more likely to succeed. This is not what the protesters want but it is what they will get.

If these protesters truly want to change people’s minds they are going to need to do it the old fashioned way. They will have to leave the bubble in which they live and engage in dialogue with those who disagree with them. They will have to listen, understand, and provide reasonable, rational and respectful explanations for their point of view. This will take time, effort, and patience. If they are as passionate as they claim they will make the effort. If they don’t, their words aren’t worth the poster board they are printed on.

If they want to impact elections they will have to do this the old fashioned way as well. They will need to register and vote, and support candidates with whom they agree. They will need to volunteer their time and donate their money. If they don't they will continue to feel as if they are outside of the process, because they will be outside of the process.

Bart

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Respect. The Lost American Value

He was in his twenties, had a high school diploma and no college, and was the manager of a shoe store in an aging open air mall. I was terrified of him. I worked in the strip mall and he was my manager. He was a shoe selling wizard, a company man devoted to footwear excellence. I was 17 and a senior in high school, working for $3 an hour plus commission. Every time I worked with him I was nervous.

My fear and respect of managers persisted in the years to come. After I graduated high school I worked on the loading dock at a Montgomery Ward store in Costa Mesa, California, where I found myself again intimidated, this time by the dock manager and the other workers. They were all bigger, older and stronger than me. During my brief time there I was constantly fearful that I would fall shirt and fail to meet expectations.

After I moved out of the house I worked as a box boy for a Vons supermarket in Whittier, California. The manager was a man named Tom Moore who had a perfect haircut, a full mustache and a strong personality. He had worked his way up from box boy to store manager in the company and managed several stores. He had no education beyond high school but he knew what he was doing and was good at it. I respected and feared him.

Looking back, I realize that these managers were not the type of man many would now find remarkable. They were not highly educated and did not seem to possess broad based skills. They were simply good at what they did. I did not know it at the time but I possessed more innate managerial talent and leadership potential and was probably more intelligent. They did nothing to earn my respect or to prove themselves to be my intellectual superior but I respected them all the same.

I respected them because they were in authority over me. I knew nothing about their moral character, school grade point averages, SAT scores or personal lives. They could have been terrible people outside of work. In spite of all of this, I respected them from the moment I started each job. That is how I was taught bosses were supposed to be treated.

The world has changed. Respect for position and authority has almost completely disappeared from our culture. I have seen this in my own profession. I have had my knowledge and authority questioned by job applicants and patients who knew nothing about my record of success or commitment to excellence. I have been cussed at by 10 year-olds and had my advice dismissed out of hand by millenials who believed that a semester of psychology and the ability to perform a Google search rendered them my medical equal.

The lack of respect in the current generation has not only damaged professional relationships, it has inhibited learning. While some would consider my high school educated managers to be inferior, they were not. I learned something from all of them that I could not have learned on my own. Richard, my shoe store manager, taught me how to sell, the importance of asking for help, and how to relate to others. On the loading dock I learned how to organize, pack, and move a refrigerator safely. Tom Moore taught me about business, how to manage large groups of people and the importance of improving overall company performance and not just individual work. I could write multiple pages of the lessons learned from every less educated manager for whom I worked.

Most importantly, they taught me the importance of respect and the value of submission to authority.

Bart

The Lesser of Two Evils is a False Choice

The king was backed into a corner. His small country, founded on religious principles, was no longer a major force. Unable to protect himself form the powerful nations that surrounded them he felt no choice but to align himself with one of them. The nation was Judah and the king was Jehoiakim. To his north was the Babylonian empire, to the south the Egyptians. Neither of these empires shared the culture or values of his people but his only hope seemed to be aligning with one of them.

Four years earlier it seemed as if the Egyptians were the major force. The Egyptian army had swept through Israel in its way north to challenge the mighty Babylonians in battle. Jehoiakim’s father died in a foolish attempt to halt the progress of the Egyptian army. A short while later the Egyptians joined the Assyrians in battle against Babylon and were defeated. Pharaoh and his army went home defeated. The King of Babylon followed south to Jerusalem and besieged the city, forcing the new king Jehoiakim to surrender.

Since that time Judah had been forced to pay tax and tribute to the pagan nation of Babylon. The burden was great on the people and the city of Jerusalem was divided in its opinions. Some felt Egypt was still its greatest hope, others were persuaded that subjection to Babylon was the only way forwar (perhaps because Babylon allowed them to continue with their own king and customs.) For four years the allegiance to Babylon held sway.

At that time a second battle between Egypt and Babylon led King Jehoiakim to question his loyalty to the Babylonian king Nebuchadnezzar. Nebuchadnezzar’s army had tried to expand its influence further south into Egyptand had been repelled by the Egyptians. Jehoiakim king of Judah again had a choice between two evils. With whom would he align? He chose Egypt, hoping the might of the Pharaoh could save him. It didn’t.

A short while later Nebuchadnezzar returned with his army and laid siege. King Jehoiakim died during the siege and before long the city fell. Nebuchadnezzar and his army took Jehoiakim’s son and thousands of the nation’s best and brightest away into captivity in Babylon. Leaving behind a puppet king to rule in Nebuchadnezzar’s name.

The new king, Zedekiah, did not learn from the mistakes of his predecessor. A new Pharaoh came to power in Egypt, and once again the King of Judah was tempted to change his alliances and allegiance. He too rebelled against Babylon.

Only 4 years after Jehoiakim fell, Nebuchadnezzar and his army arrived again outside the gates of Jerusalem. This time, his wrath was not contained. He laid waste to the city and destroyed the walls and its temple. He killed Zedekiah’s sons right in front of the king and then put out his eyes, making the death of the sons his final visible memory. Judah was no more.

The fall of Judah reminds us of the challenges of choosing unholy alliances. The kings of Judah repeatedly saw only two options available, Egypt or Babylon. Neither option was good, neither nation shared any of their cultural values. One can imagine the debates in the courts of Jerusalem as people argued for one position or the other, trying to point out minuscule areas of good or potential incremental preserving of freedoms as they agonized over which evil was lesser.

They repeatedly out their hopes in powerful Pharaohs, setting their beliefs and values aside in favor of an alliance that might give them the best hope of preserving the greatest portion of the society in which they lived. Egypt may well have been the lesser of two evils, but they were still a bad choice. Judah lost everything.

What makes the story even more tragic is that Judah should have known better. The premise of having to choose between two earthly evils had been proven false many times in their history. Over and over again, their small nation had been threatened with destruction at the hands of overpowering enemies and over and over again they had been delivered, not through allying with another army but by trusting in their God. They should have recognized the false dichotomy. Their choices were not limited to Egypt or Babylon. There was a third way. They could have chosen to turn to God, returned to their values, and stood alone, trusting only in Him.

Modern day American Christians have much to learn from the lessons of Judah. We should resist the foolish claims of those who tell us that we have to choose between two evils. When both choices require us to compromise our values and deny who we are and what we believe, we need to choose the third way. If we do not, we should not be surprised when we find ourselves in trouble.

- Bart

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