Unlike my identical twin, I was not popular in high school. Bret earned his varsity letter in track as a sophomore, was Vice President of the sophomore class and then President as a junior, and hung out with cheerleaders. I was nothing.
When talking about high school I often ask people, “What’s the only think less cool than being president of the chess club?” Folks are uniformly stumped until I give the answer- Running for president of the chess club, and LOSING.
I can laugh about it now, but it wasn’t funny back then. I also lost in my runs for sophomore president and junior vice president. I decided not to run for ASB office, thinking I had suffered enough humiliation for one lifetime, only to be pressured into running at the last minute when one of the offices had only one candidate on the ballot. It was a disaster. I got La La Landed 43 years before the movie was released. The teacher responsible for announcing results read my name by mistake. For one brief, shining millisecond I thought I was popular after all.
My track record as an adult has not been much better. Sixteen years ago I finished second to another man when I put my name in to be the senior pastor of a church in Laguna Hills. Fifteen years ago I was voted off the board of directors of my HMO medical group. In the aftermath of that defeat I decided to focus my efforts on my own practice and leave the governing of the group to others.
I was isolated and happy for fourteen years, until I was asked to run for an open board seat last year. I reluctantly agreed, only to be voted in. After twenty-eight years, it seemed I had finally found the respect of my pears.
As is my wont, I committed myself to being the best board member I could be. I am a much better listener that I was before, and much less bothered when people disagree with my point of view. It took me over sixty years, but I have learned how to be a grown up. Apparently others noticed my hard gained maturity, as last week the impossible happened. The Board of Directors elected me to be the group’s president.
The victory has my head spinning. I have asked myself, many times, “How did this happen?”
I think it really is the result of growing up. I have worked hard these last fifteen years at controlling my temper, respecting the opinions of others, accepting defeat with grace, allowing people time to digest my proposals, and being kind.
To my amazement, people noticed.
These events have taught me something. I need to remember who I was and how long it took me to become who I am. I need to view other people as works in progress and not pass permanent sentences on them, to treat them with the grace that God and others treated me. There is a very good chance that some of the losers or today may be winners tomorrow.
Bart