A Doctor with Serious ADD Issues...

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Some people say I have Attention Deficit Disorder. I think it is more information overload. My brain is continually filled to overflowing, swirling and churning with thoughts and ideas. So much so that my employees tell me there are times when I walk away in the middle of a conversation. They say something, I give a reply, and then I walk away when they start to respond. Like a dog who sees a squirrel something grabs my attention and off I go. I am oblivious.

This behavior is rather embarrassing and can lead to harm in relationships. It would be easy for my staff to get hurt feelings, call me a jerk and then complain to others about what an insensitive boss they had. They could use their knowledge of this behavioral flaw to embarrass me. They could, but my current employees don’t.

They do the opposite. Because they know my heart and my desire to do the right thing they not only overlook this fault, they actually take steps to counteract any harm. They cover me and protect me, they have my back. When we have new employees or students in the office they warn them, “Dr. Barrett can be a little ADD at times. It is hysterical, but sometimes he will turn and walk away in the middle of a conversation. Don’t be offended, it’s just him!”

This is what people do when they care about someone. They cover over the flaws of others and protect their weaknesses.

Paul addressed this, saying “Love always protects.” One way to interpret his words is to say that like a roof, love always covers.

This is a characteristic of healthy relationships and particularly of healthy marriages. We look out for one another and step up to defend and protect one another. We do not take advantage of our knowledge of weaknesses to make ourselves look good, instead we intentionally act to keep others safe.

While this is important to do in marriage, it is important in all of our relationships, in our families, our work relationships, our church relationships and friendships. It is not easy, it can be risky, but it is what love does. This raises the question- Are you a protector?

- Bart

This post is the 10th in a series on love, taken from the Bible passage 1 Corinthians 13. Since all of us need to be more loving, consider sharing these blog posts with your friends.

Do you feel this Important Symptom of a Diseased Spiritual Heart?

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Symptoms are important. They tell the patient that something is wrong and when properly understood can tell the physician what that something is. Every once in a while I get surprised by someone who is much sicker or worse off than I imagined. I find myself asking, “How is it they didn't feel this?”

I think of a 10-year-old girl who came to my office several years ago. She had fallen off of the monkey bars a few days earlier and had occasionally complained of arm pain. Her mother was only a little concerned but brought her in to see me just to be sure she was okay.

I examined the child, poking and prodding and moving her arm and shoulder all around. Not a peep or a grimace of pain. Her exam was perfectly normal. I told the mom I could not make a good argument for getting an x-ray, but gave an order for arm and shoulder films just in case. I told her to get the x-rays done if she was not better in 2-3 days.

Three days later they were back. The girl still was relatively asymptomatic, but this time one thing was different. This time she brought an x-ray of her upper arm that showed the humerus was broken. IN TWO! Snapped. Completely broken with the bones a centimeter apart. To this day I cannot understand how she could have slept comfortably, much less allow a doctor to move the arm over her head. It is hard to recognize a problem when there are no symptoms!

Our society is in a similar circumstance right now. We have serious problems, but many people do not feel or recognize them at all. They are missing something crucial that would allow them to understand how sick they really are.

Ravi Zacharias, a brilliant and articulate Christian leader, described the problem perfectly in two recent Facebook posts-

“To raise a child without shame is to raise one with no immune system against evil.”

“Shame is to the moral health of a society what pain is to the body. The sense of shame provides an indicator to the mind.”

Dysfunction is spreading through our culture, spreading because people lack a key means of recognizing it and dealing with it. They have lost a sense of shame. People are openly proud about behaviors which were once (and still should be) considered shameful.

I can think of many examples, such as the young man who came into my office for a check up, and when I asked about his sexual history, proudly declared that he was sexually involved with several girlfriends at the same time. Taken aback by his unabashed boasting, I clarified his response, asking, “So you are not saying you have had multiple partners in the past, you are saying that you currently have multiple women you are sleeping with?”

He extended his fist to give me a knuckle punch as he laughed and turned the word “Yeah” into one of three syllables. “Yea-a-ah, dude!” He had no shame.

I have seen similar sentiments expressed on Facebook, in blog posts and on television. Casual sexual encounters, vulgar language and other immoral behaviors are displayed as badges of honor instead of markers of shame. It seems that our world has fully embraced the view that no behavior is inherently wrong. If it feels good and brings pleasure in the moment it should be proclaimed and celebrated.

The freedom promised by the shameless pursuit of pleasure is false freedom, as it traps people in lives where it is impossible to experience the joy and peace that come from living life as God intends. Instead of running from and denouncing shame and embarrassment, we should train ourselves to cultivate a healthy sense of shame that will sound the alarm when we foolishly go our own way.

God wants to heal our diseased hearts, and appropriate shame can lead us to seek the cure. Ask yourself- "Do I feel the symptoms of my sinful heart, or am I becoming hardened to shame?" The answer is important.

 

 

You may be praying wrong

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Our adult group sends out prayer requests through email a few times a week. As I am sure is the case with many such groups, these requests primarily revolve around physical and financial issues- someone is sick or injured, or someone is in need of a job. Pretty standard stuff. With this mindset of community prayer, as I was reading through the book of Colossians, I was struck right off by what Paul prayed for. Early on in Chapter 1 vs 9 he declares his prayer for the recipients of his letter-

“we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God,”

He prayed-

  • That they would be filled with the knowledge of His will, through all spiritual wisdom and understanding

  • In order that they might live a life worthy of the Lord.

    It is interesting what he did not pray for. He did not pray for a change in their circumstances or improvement in their earthly condition! I wonder if that is why he prayed they would “get” God's will. Makes sense to me, as recognizing and understanding that my current crummy state is in fact God's will for my life is definitely going to require a wisdom I do not currently have!

Wonder also, if Paul was hinting that God's will for us is something that is different than what we would think or expect. Paul seemed to have a much better understanding of the long term will of God, His eternal plans and design, and a greater ability to live his life with that in mind. In fact, it seems that Paul's ability to endure all of the ridiculous abuses and persecutions he faced came about as a direct result of his ability to place things in the correct eternal context.

This is suggested by the second part of Paul's prayer, his reason for praying for understanding of God's will, “that they might live worthy lives”. Worthy means “appropriate”. He wanted the Colossians to live like the children of God that they were.

In the office I had a conversation with a Christian who is an alcoholic. The patient had been trying to serve God, but continued to battle a drinking problem, one day teaching a youth Bible study, the next day downing a whole bottle of wine after dinner. As I tried to encourage the patient, I shared my favorite line from the Lion King- the scene where the “ghost” of Simba's father says to him, “Remember who you are.”

I shared, “Remember who you are, you are a child of Almighty God, chosen by Him from all eternity to be his child. God wants you to live like it!”

As we talked, it was clear that part of the reason for the drinking was a focus on earthly struggles which distracted from a true understanding of the eternal will of God. And that the correct prayer was not simply, “Help the drinking stop”, but rather, “Give a full understanding of your Person and your eternal will, the perspective that will allow this person to live a life worthy of you, a life free from alcohol and focused on your kingdom.”

I need to pray better! How about you?