Young and Without a Voice in Church

When Lisa and I were newly married we became a part of an adult group at church dedicated to our demographic. Each Sunday we gathered together with other couples under the age of thirty for conversation and fellowship. It was a remarkable group. It seemed almost everyone there had a passion for the Bible and knew it well. Several had degrees from Bible colleges and many had attended seminary. In this group my knowledge was unimpressive. I did not stand out at all.

In spite of the wealth of Bible knowledge and spiritual commitment there was something we lacked compared to young people today. None of us felt entitled to a voice in church leadership. No one talked about being an elder or leading a ministry and all of us accepted the fact that it was not yet our time. We knew we needed to grow and learn, that leadership positions were in our future, not our present. We were willingly taught each week by older men in their fifties and sixties, confident that they possessed wisdom and experience we lacked.

This is in stark contrast to the current young generation, many of whose members are quite antagonistic to mature church leadership. A friend of mine recently shared a post on why it is that Millenials are not going to church. Written by a Millenial, it unintentionally clarifies the arrogance of the current generation.

Here are some of the reasons given for young people turning away from the church-

-  Millennials value voice and receptivity above all else. When a church forges ahead without ever asking for our input we get the message loud and clear: Nobody cares what we think.

-  Millennials are told by this world from the second we wake up to the second we take a sleeping pill that we aren’t good enough. We desperately need the church to tell us we are enough, exactly the way we are. No conditions or expectations.

Throughout the post runs the theme that the current millennial generation has something special to offer, a special insight into the church and the culture that is being missed by the older generations. The author is confident in his assertions that older believers are driving younger believers away and believes himself to be offering effective solutions. He appears to be sadly blinded to the arrogance of his assertions.

When I was 24 the church didn’t care what I thought either. No one sought my input on anything. I didn’t mind because I recognized the truth- At the age of 24 my opinion wasn’t worth much. I lacked the experience and wisdom that comes with age. I understood that as a young person in church it was a time for me to hear and learn. The time for being heard and teaching would come later, if I was faithful. If I wanted a voice I could earn it through a life of service and godliness. Even though I was a bright young man at the time 30 years later I look back and see the foolishness of many of my young thoughts and opinions. Passion and commitment were not substitutes for wisdom and experience.

Millennials have grown up being taught that they are important and deserving of attention and praise. Parents and teachers have celebrated modest accomplishments. Christian youth have grown up in an "everyone gets a trophy" world that teaches them their youthful opinions matter, that they have something to say and deserve to be heard, and that they are enough "just the way they are." They have embraced this worldview without realizing that these are the teachings of the world and not the teachings of Scripture. Passages such as 1 Peter 5:5-6, “Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time", are a clear reminder of how God moves within the church.

Just as Millennials are struggling with where they fit into the church so is the church at large struggling with how to respond to them. To the church at large I offer this warning- Do not try to appeal to or appease wrong thinking. The brilliant Christian author Michael Horton, in his book Ordinary, says it well-

“It is nothing new when young people want churches to pander to them. What is new is the extent to which churches have obliged. In previous generations elders- both officers and simply older and wiser members- wouldn’t let that happen. They took young people under their wing and taught them by word and example what it meant to begin to accept the privileges and responsibilities of membership in Christ’s body.”

Horton then identifies the core reason young people are abandoning church-

“For the first time in the history of the church it is now possible to go from the nursery to children’s church to Sunday school to the youth group and college ministry without ever actually having experienced church membership. Shocking surveys abound reporting that many of our children are dropping out of church by their college years. But maybe it shouldn’t be so shocking if they were never actually involved in church to begin with.”

The generation that has been taught it is all about them desperately needs to be confronted with that lie. It is not about them. It is about God. It is about what God says, what God proclaims and what God commands. God’s commands, while never burdensome, challenge our comfort and disrupt our lives. 

Bart

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Learning to Prescribe Kindness

“You’re different than you used to be.” The comment came at the end of the visit with a patient I have known for over 20 years. “I’m not sure how to describe it, but you are different.”

“I’m nicer,” was my reply.

“That’s it! You are nicer.” It was as if she was afraid to say it for fear of insulting me. She didn't need to apologize. She wasn't the first person to notice. What she did not know was how the change occurred. I shared with her that one day over 15 years ago that I had stopped to perform a self-assessment, asking myself what people would likely say about me if I were to die. As I listed my dominant personality traits- passion, integrity, honesty, commitment to doing the right thing, I realized that there was something missing. I doubted that anyone would say I was kind. It was a sobering realization.

I told her that became my prayer, that God would make me kind. It proved to be a costly prayer, as within a few years a virus attacked my spine, bringing severe and debilitating pain. The pain faded, but the weakness and numbness never left. A few years later came panic attacks and anxiety disorder. These conditions brought me to my knees and opened my eyes to the struggles of others. They softened me and made me kinder.

She shared with me that she knew that I was someone keen on becoming a better person. She told me she was an avid reader of this blog (Hello Ms. D!) and that she had concluded that I was someone who was working on myself, someone who was trying to improve. I thought this was an incredible compliment, for to me, this should be one of the defining characteristics of a Christian.

We are all sinners, we are all broken and selfish. One of my greatest areas of brokenness over the years has been the tendency to use being “right” as a justification for not being kind or compassionate. God has been working on this part of my life for years now. I still have a long way to go, but if I am becoming a kinder person, if I can be described as someone who is less broken and less selfish with each passing day, then I am comforted knowing that God is doing his work in me. Which is... nice!

-          Bart

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Suffering for Christmas

I have seen a lot of suffering lately.

The week before Christmas a patient I had known for over 15 years was sent home from the hospital on hospice. His bone marrow cancer had left his bones and attacked his liver. It was too late for the bone marrow transplant he had been waiting for and too advanced for any hope of a response to any treatments. Within 24 hours of going home he was confused and difficult to arouse. He died less than a day later.

I had another patient go home on hospice Christmas eve. The combination of metastatic cancer and heart disease had left her too weak to fight. As it was possible this Christmas would be her last she chose to spend it at home. She still holds out hope that she might regain enough strength to resume curative treatments but there are no guarantees. Hers was a sick Christmas.

On December 23rd I made a house call on a third hospice patient. This patient has an incurable lung infection. We thought it would have taken her life months ago but she has hung on, her body refusing to give up on the unwinnable fight even though her mind did long ago. Walking across the room can be an ordeal for her. The disease has destroyed so much lung tissue she has no respiratory reserves remaining.

All three of the patients and all of their families suffered this Christmas. The emotional and physical pains were real and intense. In addition to their hospice status they had something else in common, the lingering question, “Where is God in all of this?”

Modern society, and at times the Christian church within it, seems to have the view that suffering has no rightful place in this world, that its presence is evidence that God either does not exist, does not care, or is weaker than is claimed. The thought that a good God could allow suffering, or worse, ordain it, makes no sense to us.

When Christians do talk about suffering it is usually discussed as a temporary stop on the journey to a positive destination. This is often true. My own life is evidence of this reality as my struggles with chronic pain and anxiety have helped soften and mold me into a more patient and caring man. What is seldom discussed or acknowledged in the Christian faith is the suffering that endures, the pain that never fades and is a permanent part of someone’s life.

It is seldom discussed but it is readily evident in the world around us. Whether it be from conditions such as fibromyalgia or Lou Gehrig’s disease or oppression under hateful governments there are millions of people around the world who wake up each morning in the same state or worse than they were the day before, with no end in sight and no hope for better days. What is God’s purpose for these people? Why do they continue to suffer when there seem to be no further lessons to learn? Why does not God rescue them from their pain, allow them to go on the next life now?

These questions returned to my mind this week as I was reading through the book of 1 Peter. Peter was writing to Christians in Asia who had experienced severe persecution under the Roman emperor Nero. Many Christians had been killed or tortured and the ones that remained lived in fear of the same. Peter wrote to educate and encourage these people in the truths of God.

The most astonishing aspect of Peter’s letter was his attitude about suffering. Peter wrote that, for these people at least, suffering was not something to be temporarily endured but rather a calling to be accepted. Peter told the people of the eternal nature of their call, of the profound blessings that awaited them in the next life and the certainty of them receiving them. He reminded them that Jesus was called to suffer on their behalf and that they were called to suffer as well. He then made the remarkable point that the manner in which people endure prolonged suffering is a powerful testimony to others.

As I read his words I realized that they are in profound contrast to what many Christians seem to believe. When suffering comes we spend our days praying for relief, looking for a lesson or hoping for a way out. Peter’s words remind us that none of those options may apply in this lifetime. At times the only purpose for our suffering is that God be glorified by the manner in which we endure it.

Not a truth I particularly like, but a truth I need to accept.

Bart

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Prayer as Medical Treatment

Her head had been in near constant pain for over 3 weeks. She had endured migraines for years but they had been rare and relatively brief. The pain was not making it difficult to sleep and function, work was out of the question.

This was her 4th visit in the office in a 2 week period. I had prescribed pain medications (which made her vomit), medicines to abort migraines (which had minimal benefit that did not endure) and had even stayed late one day to administer a steroid shot (which was a long shot at best). When I walked in the room the tears in her eyes and the strain on her face told the story. She was emotionally done, the end of the rope had been reached. She wanted help.

Unfortunately I did not have much to offer. All of the options for immediate relief had been exhausted. The next step would be to start daily medications to prevent headache, but these medications can take several weeks to be effective. I ordered a CT scan of her brain, which although medically needless was emotionally necessary to calm her fears and wrote the prescription for the daily medications.

Out of options, as I was bringing the visit to a close I asked, “Are you religious at all? Do you practice any faith?”

“Not really,” she said, “I went to Catholic school though. Why do you ask?”

“Nothing else has worked, so I was going to offer to say a prayer for you,” I replied.

“I’m not religious,” she said, “but I would welcome you saying a prayer right now. I will take whatever help I can get.”

I walked across the room and put one arm around her shoulders and said a simple prayer, “Dear God, Amber is hurting right now. She is frustrated and exhausted. Give her hope, give her peace, and giver her relief from pain. Amen.”

I had been taught In medical school I had been taught to never inject faith into an office visit and to never allow my faith to intrude into my care. Her acceptance of the hug and the prayer proved my former teachers wrong. Faith, expressed as love and concern for a person in need, always has a place.

Bart

The Lesser of Two Evils is a False Choice

The king was backed into a corner. His small country, founded on religious principles, was no longer a major force. Unable to protect himself form the powerful nations that surrounded them he felt no choice but to align himself with one of them. The nation was Judah and the king was Jehoiakim. To his north was the Babylonian empire, to the south the Egyptians. Neither of these empires shared the culture or values of his people but his only hope seemed to be aligning with one of them.

Four years earlier it seemed as if the Egyptians were the major force. The Egyptian army had swept through Israel in its way north to challenge the mighty Babylonians in battle. Jehoiakim’s father died in a foolish attempt to halt the progress of the Egyptian army. A short while later the Egyptians joined the Assyrians in battle against Babylon and were defeated. Pharaoh and his army went home defeated. The King of Babylon followed south to Jerusalem and besieged the city, forcing the new king Jehoiakim to surrender.

Since that time Judah had been forced to pay tax and tribute to the pagan nation of Babylon. The burden was great on the people and the city of Jerusalem was divided in its opinions. Some felt Egypt was still its greatest hope, others were persuaded that subjection to Babylon was the only way forwar (perhaps because Babylon allowed them to continue with their own king and customs.) For four years the allegiance to Babylon held sway.

At that time a second battle between Egypt and Babylon led King Jehoiakim to question his loyalty to the Babylonian king Nebuchadnezzar. Nebuchadnezzar’s army had tried to expand its influence further south into Egyptand had been repelled by the Egyptians. Jehoiakim king of Judah again had a choice between two evils. With whom would he align? He chose Egypt, hoping the might of the Pharaoh could save him. It didn’t.

A short while later Nebuchadnezzar returned with his army and laid siege. King Jehoiakim died during the siege and before long the city fell. Nebuchadnezzar and his army took Jehoiakim’s son and thousands of the nation’s best and brightest away into captivity in Babylon. Leaving behind a puppet king to rule in Nebuchadnezzar’s name.

The new king, Zedekiah, did not learn from the mistakes of his predecessor. A new Pharaoh came to power in Egypt, and once again the King of Judah was tempted to change his alliances and allegiance. He too rebelled against Babylon.

Only 4 years after Jehoiakim fell, Nebuchadnezzar and his army arrived again outside the gates of Jerusalem. This time, his wrath was not contained. He laid waste to the city and destroyed the walls and its temple. He killed Zedekiah’s sons right in front of the king and then put out his eyes, making the death of the sons his final visible memory. Judah was no more.

The fall of Judah reminds us of the challenges of choosing unholy alliances. The kings of Judah repeatedly saw only two options available, Egypt or Babylon. Neither option was good, neither nation shared any of their cultural values. One can imagine the debates in the courts of Jerusalem as people argued for one position or the other, trying to point out minuscule areas of good or potential incremental preserving of freedoms as they agonized over which evil was lesser.

They repeatedly out their hopes in powerful Pharaohs, setting their beliefs and values aside in favor of an alliance that might give them the best hope of preserving the greatest portion of the society in which they lived. Egypt may well have been the lesser of two evils, but they were still a bad choice. Judah lost everything.

What makes the story even more tragic is that Judah should have known better. The premise of having to choose between two earthly evils had been proven false many times in their history. Over and over again, their small nation had been threatened with destruction at the hands of overpowering enemies and over and over again they had been delivered, not through allying with another army but by trusting in their God. They should have recognized the false dichotomy. Their choices were not limited to Egypt or Babylon. There was a third way. They could have chosen to turn to God, returned to their values, and stood alone, trusting only in Him.

Modern day American Christians have much to learn from the lessons of Judah. We should resist the foolish claims of those who tell us that we have to choose between two evils. When both choices require us to compromise our values and deny who we are and what we believe, we need to choose the third way. If we do not, we should not be surprised when we find ourselves in trouble.

- Bart

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