The Search for Peace

She was tired. After years of being overlooked, patronized and ignored she had reached the breaking point. She didn’t believe in divorce but she couldn't bear the thought of living forever with a man who did not seem to respect or love her. She knew the Bible talked about husbands loving their wives as Christ loved the church and she longed for this from her husband. He had promised her this love many times but the promises were empty, his behavior never changed. Her life was in turmoil and her home was in constant conflict. She wanted peace. She hadn’t felt it in so long.

She finally decided that enough was enough. She was done. She told her husband that their marriage was over, that she was leaving. As the words left her mouth she felt something she had not felt in a long time, peace. She felt calm, even a sense of hope. In that peace and calmness she felt as if God was confirming her decision, that she had finally found what she was looking for.

She was wrong. She felt peace and calm but it was not from God. Like so many others in similarly difficult circumstances she fundamentally misunderstood the Biblical concept of peace.

When people define peace they typically think in terms of life circumstances or mental state. We think of peace as the absence of conflict or as a state of mental calm. We agree with the dictionary.com definition: “freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety; tranquility; serenity.” When stress is absent, peace exists.

When we seek this type of peace we will be tempted to leave stressful circumstances, to avoid conflict and to walk away from difficult relationships. When we do walk away we will, for a while, feel a sense of relief. But is that peace? Is this what God wants for us?

In seeking to understand the peace that God brings it is wise to see how He describes it. Just before He was crucified, Jesus promised peace to His followers-

 “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you.” John 14:27

He was describing a peace that was different from the peace given by the world, both in its permanence and essence. It is helpful to remember the events that followed Jesus’ words. Within hours Jesus was arrested and His followers were scattered. 6 weeks later, after His resurrection, some of His followers were arrested and beaten for their faith. Within a short time these same disciples were being put to death as religious outlaws. Not exactly how people typically define peace!

The Apostle Paul later wrote that we should not be anxious, but that we should instead pray, and that the result would be that “the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Paul says that God’s peace surpasses all comprehension. The peace that people feel when they leave a difficult relationship, avoid a problem or walk away from a challenge is not beyond comprehension, it is perfectly understandable. It is not a stretch then to say that if the peace experienced is  predictable and understandable, it may not be from God. It definitely should not be cited as confirmation of God’s will!

My prayer for the woman in the difficult marriage is that she will learn to seek the peace of God. A peace that results not from the absence of difficulty in life but rather a peace that sustains in the midst of our difficulties. God’s peace comes from our relationship with Him, not from our relationships with others. God’s peace comes from doing the right and difficult things, in knowing that our lives please Him. This peace is not dependent in any way on  circumstances, which means it is available to everyone in every moment.

-          Bart

Lacking peace? Under stress? I would love to pray for you. Feel free to send me a message through the contact page on this site. Know someone who needs to hear these words? Click the share button to share the post with others. You can have posts delivered to your inbox by subscribing to the blog, or follow me on twitter@bartbarrettmd.

When Your Kidneys Fail at 30, Life Changes

His kidneys were almost completely shut down, functioning at less than 5% of normal. The lab results were the worst I had ever seen. His blood count was less than half normal, his kidney disease so advanced it had suppressed his ability to manufacture blood cells. According to the lab work he was near death.

Remarkably, the lab work ordered was just routine, done to complete the evaluation of his elevated blood pressure. He walked in for his visit and did not complain of any symptoms at all. When the labs came across my desk I called him right away. He did not answer his cell phone because he was at work. He was in need of emergency dialysis, and he was at work!

He was stunned when I gave him the news and told him to go directly to the hospital. How do you process the news that at the age of 30 you need dialysis and a blood transfusion? The ensuing few days were a medical and emotional whirlwind for him as he received a blood transfusion, 3 rounds of dialysis and was told he might want to reach out to family members to see if any might be willing to be a kidney donor. It was a lot for him to process.

His story weighed heavily on my mind for the next several days. I was reminded of the fragility of life and health. We go about our days with the illusion of control and a false sense that our futures are secure. It can all come crashing down in an instant. We know that terrible things happen but we tell ourselves that the terrible things will happen to someone else. We are seldom prepared for the crisis when it comes.

As it always does, his health crisis brought a new perspective on life, faith and relationships. He gained a new appreciation for his girlfriend, who stayed at his bedside during his time in the hospital. He was forced to deal with the reality of his mortality and he was given the motivation to consider the meaning of life and what comes when life is over.

As I talked to him I was reminded of how blessed I am. I have health issues, but thus far none of them threaten my survival. I am blessed with a woman who has been by my side through thick and thin for 33 years. I have a future and an eternity that is certain and secure, guaranteed and sealed by the sacrifice of my Savior.

May his story be an encouragement to us all to take time to evaluate our lives and our relationships, of the supremacy of faith, and of our need to live beyond the moment. None of us is guaranteed additional time.

Bart

Thanks for reading. I post 2-3 times a week on matters of health, family and faith. Those who wish to have future posts delivered to their email can click the subscribe button on the page. Blog posts are also linked on my twitter feed @bartbarrettmd. The share button is the most important link on the page, as it is how others learn about the blog. Feel free to use it!

An Offer of Prayer, Rescinded

When she offered the prayer I was both surprised and touched. When she took back the offer I was amazed.

The patient was a sweet Christian woman in her 80’s. She and her husband were in together for a medical visit and they had noticed the brace on my knee. I explained that it was due to arthritis and was worn to help relieve pain.  She instantly made the prayer offer, "Oh doctor, may we pray for you?"

“Sure” I replied. I felt a little awkward, but I thought, "why not?" 

“If we pray will you believe that God will heal you?” was her next question.

“I believe He can heal me,” I replied, “I do not think He will, but you are welcome to pray.”

“Well, if you don’t believe then there is no reason for us to pray for you,” and with that the offer was rescinded!

I was taken aback by her response. She actually believed that God’s response was totally dependent on me! I saw no point in arguing (and for once in my life didn’t) but I was saddened nonetheless. I wondered how many times in her life she had blamed herself for unanswered prayer, how many times she had thought that if she had just believed a little bit more that God would have answered.

There are many things about my faith that I do not fully understand but I am certain that God does not act according to my wishes and to the limits of my faith. I do not control Him and He is not bound by me. I pray and ask for His blessings and for Him to relieve my pain, resting in the knowledge that He is able to heal me and trusting in His ability to sustain me if healing is not His plan. He has shaped me and molded me through each challenge in life and I have learned that sometimes, pain can bring good things.

But you can still pray that God will take mine away!

-          Bart

Thanks for reading. I post 2-3 times a week on topics of faith, medicine and life in general. You can have posts delivered to your inbox by subscribing to the blog and comments and questions are always welcomed. You can also follow me on twitter @bartbarrettmd.

The Definition of Pastor

When my father-in-law was facing major heart surgery, he was there to pray. When the surgery did not go well he was there to lead the memorial service. He was not afraid or ashamed to pray with us or shed a tear with us.

When I was first asked to speak at the chapel service of our church he was there to support and encourage me. When I had questions about where my gifts fit in at the church and how I could best be of use he got up early and met me for breakfast to hear my heart and give me counsel.

It is because of him that I am regularly invited to speak to the senior adult groups at church. After my first time speaking to one of the groups he gently took me aside and gave me encouragement. His advice, to speak more slowly and to avoid pop culture references to which they could not relate, made me more effective. As I have continued to teach in that group his support has become invaluable.

He believes in me, in my heart and in my desire to serve. He respects my passion, drive and commitment, and where others have tried to rein me in he has consistently worked to help me channel it. He listens, and then he listens more, hearing my heart and not just my words.

He loves me, he loves God, and he loves Gods people. He works too long and takes on too many responsibilities. He is at an age when most men have retired but he still sees work to do and ways in which he can do it. He is comfortable in front of a crowd but is not one to seek the spotlight. He has proven again and again that he is willing to share opportunity with others. How many pastors share the Easter pulpit with a layperson?

Over my years I have been to many churches and met many men who were on a church’s payroll. Too few truly had the heart of a pastor, whose true desire was to love and serve God’s people. When I think of a pastor, I think of John Coulombe.

He is not famous or well known, nor does he desire to be. He does desire to have an impact and he has impacted me greatly.

Bart

A Backwards World. Late Patients, On-time Doctor

It seemed no one was on time. Patient after patient came in late for their scheduled appointments. I wondered how I would keep up and if I should ask the late patients to reschedule. I didn’t ask them to reschedule and I did keep up. Here is how it worked out and what I learned.

The first late patient was arrived over 20 minutes after her scheduled appointment time and had multiple issues she wanted to discuss. She had a 15 minute appointment and 30 minutes worth of problems. Knee pain, back pain, neck pain and headache. I addressed the neck pain and the knee pain and discussed treatment options and briefly discussed the headache. Out of time, I explained that we were starting a process, that I wanted to check an xray and have a physical therapist evaluate her neck, and asked if she would be willing to come back in a week or two to take the next steps. Because I was not at all behind when she arrived I was not too far behind for my next patient, who was 30 minutes late for his new patient physical.

He was so late that I called out to the front office, “Did our 10:15 patient no-show?”

My nurse answered back, “He just got here!” She was in the process of calling the patient back to the exam room. A few seconds later the patient sheepishly appeared behind her, spewing apologies for his tardiness and thanking me for taking him anyway. I wondered how I would manage to do a complete evaluation and still be on time. I didn’t have to worry, for while the patient was being roomed I answered the office phone. It was my 10:45 patient. He was stuck in traffic and running late. He wondered if I would still see him. I knew that he was commuting from 90 minutes away. “Of course I will, but it may be a bit of a wait!” was my reply.

The physical exam didn’t need a full physical exam after all and the visit did not take as long as expected. The patient was so appreciative of the service and care he received that he made up his mind to refer his brother to me for care while he was still in the exam room.

The next late arriving patient came into the office well after his scheduled appointment, but late enough to where I was able to be right on time for my 11:00 appointment. It all worked out.

He was followed by a long standing patient who I had scheduled for an hour long appointment into my lunch hour. He has been cursed with skin that likes to grow skin cancers and he needed so many biopsies that there was no good place to fit him into my normal schedule. I had the staff book the procedure during my lunch hour so I could devote the time needed. When he arrived he asked if we could do fewer biopsies than planned. He wanted to make sure I had time for lunch.

Sure enough, I finished all of my morning charting and was able to have a little over 30 minutes to grab a sandwich at the local café. As I ate my sandwich I thought of how at one time in my career I would have been stressed and angry at patients arriving late and would have demanded that they reschedule. I remembered that I was less happy and content with my practice back then and that my patients weren’t as happy either.

Later that afternoon I fell behind again when a procedure took longer than planned. I was 30 minutes behind when I entered the room of the patient that followed. I handed him a Starbucks gift card as an apology for his wait. He accepted my apology with grace, reminding me that we all need forgiveness at times and that grace and kindness make the world a better place.

-          Bart

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