Good Goal, Terrible Teaching. The Table Fellowship Myth

It is a sad truth that churches are not always unified. At times the reasons for division appear trivial, but in most circumstances the disagreements are based on interpretations of Scripture. When the disagreement centers around the direction of the church or on the emphasis of its ministry resolution can be difficult. One of the major questions with which the church has struggled  is the question of how the church should relate to the secular world. Teaching on the subject has fluctuated over time with some churches encouraging clear separation and others embracing cultural change. Most churches I have attended have taught that Christians should love and serve others as much as they can without compromising their principles or in anyway implying acceptance of inappropriate behavior. This traditional response has recently come under attack as our society has become increasingly secular and embracing cultural change become more challenging.

The attacks have not come only from those outside of the church. Many pastors are teaching that the model of Jesus is to fully engage with people “right where they are at”, encouraging Christians to intentionally go into settings previously considered taboo. The argument is that this is what Jesus did. Christians who value purity and who are fearful of condoning inappropriate behavior are labeled as judgmental, out of touch, and unconcerned about the lost.

In support of this more tolerant attitude passages of Scripture are cited in which Jesus is described as dining with “sinners and tax-gatherers” and as a result drawing the ire of the religious leaders of the day. In the culture in which Jesus lived sharing a meal was a significant sign of acceptance. That Jesus would accept those who were deemed unclean by the religious authorities was a big deal. There is no question that when Jesus dined with these people he was setting an example for others. But what is the example Jesus set? I have heard several sermons in which people were urged to be like Jesus, to go and partake of the lives of those traditionally not a part of the church. The teaching was that we go with an attitude of acceptance, welcoming people just as they are, regardless of lifestyle or behavior. 

One new church in town as made this principle of “table fellowship” a major part of its mission. On its website it declares-

“One of the most controversial aspects of Jesus’ ministry was his willingness to share meals with outcasts, sinners, and the marginalized.  Sharing a meal with someone in Jesus’ day was considered a form of acceptance and social approval. This was called table fellowship, and used by Jesus to manifest the open and expansive nature of his movement.

The practice of table fellowship is, for us, the most important picture of how we relate to the world around us: practicing radical hospitality, committed to countercultural friendship, and embodying extravagant grace.”

This sounds wonderful, but this understanding of Jesus’ “table fellowship” is inaccurate. The implication that Jesus was going out of His way to dine with immoral people without conditions in order to extend grace and show His love to outsiders is dangerously wrong. This is not what Jesus was doing and this is not the example we are to follow.

There are only three episodes in the gospels in which Jesus is specifically described as participating in a group meal as a guest in an outsider’s home- in the home of Matthew, a tax-collector who left his work to follow Jesus, in the home of Zacchaeus, another tax collector, and in the home of a leper named Simon. A close look at each of these stories reveals details that counter the popular “table fellowship” narrative.

The meal at the home of Matthew is described in three of the gospel accounts. Luke tells us that Matthew “held a great banquet in Jesus’ honor” and that a “large crowd of tax collectors and sinners were eating with them.” Mark’s account is similar, but in his description of the event he adds a crucial detail, writing, “many tax collectors and sinners were eating with him and his disciples for there were many who followed him.”

Mark’s words are important, for they tell us the nature of those who were at the celebration. They were followers of Jesus! Jesus did not invite himself to the house of a stranger or simply join in a secular gathering. He went into a home where he was invited to dine with people who believed in who he was and what he was teaching. These people came from questionable backgrounds, but their faith was what mattered.

The famous story of Zacchaeus, the diminutive tax collector of Jericho, provides additional insight. Zacchaeus had apparently heard of Jesus and his teaching prior to Jesus’ coming to Jericho. The amazing stories Zacchaeus had heard about Jesus had aroused his interest. Zacchaeus wanted to know more about who Jesus was. Luke’s account says that Zacchaeus climbed a tree because he wanted to “see who Jesus was.” He did not want only to lay eyes on Jesus and see what he looked like. He was interested in who Jesus was, in gaining knowledge of him. Jesus, in response to Zacchaeus’ interest, called him down from the tree and invited himself to Zacchaeus’ house for dinner. While Zacchaeus had been an immoral tax gatherer, subsequent events confirm that his interest in Jesus was genuine.

Zacchaeus welcomed Jesus “gladly” into his home. When others criticized Jesus for going into the house of a sinner, Zacchaeus answered their criticism by proclaiming that he was a changed man. He promised to give half of his wealth to the poor and to make fourfold restitution to any he had cheated. In this story we see that the key was not who Zacchaeus had been, but who he was becoming. Again, it was his faith that mattered.

The story of Simon the leper contains little information, but there is still something we can infer. As it was unlawful for a leper to live in a town and to be in direct contact with others, and as there were others present in the home, it is likely that Simon had been cleansed of his leprosy, most likely by Jesus. This account would then follow the pattern of the other stories in that those who were outcasts were outcast no longer because of Jesus. Jesus was not going into a place where he was unknown or where his teaching was not embraced. He was a welcome guest, welcome for who he was and as who he was. There was no trust to be gained, argument to be won or persuasion to be achieved. He was welcome.

An honest assessment of these passages leads to a different application of the meaning of table fellowship. It is not about going to places where sin is rampant and people are opposed to Christianity with a message of acceptance. It is about recognizing that it is faith in Christ, and not our earthly station, that is the basis of our fellowship. Table fellowship, as practiced by Jesus, is not about how we relate to unbelievers and those outside the faith. It is about how we relate to fellow believers without regard to their background or earthly station. That this is correct is confirmed by the Apostle Paul's teaching that their is "neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ." (Galatians 3:28 ESV)

This leaves the question of how Christians should interact with those outside the faith. Jesus is the perfect example. Everywhere he went he went with a singular purpose- to proclaim the truth of who God was and of God’s plan for saving people from their sins. He was not afraid to address the sins of others, for the first recorded words of his public ministry were “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” He loved and served others, but His primary objective was not meeting the physical needs of others. His goal was to bring people into right relationship with God. It was what he lived and died for.

The question remains as to why an incorrect application of the concept of table fellowship has taken hold in so many places. I believe it is a reflection of the negative attitude toward the church that is prevalent in our society. As traditional Christian teachings and practices become viewed with an increasingly critical eye there is a natural tendency for some to want to place the blame on something the church is doing wrong. With the desire to "win people over" comes a desire to identify areas where Christians are in the wrong. Teachers search the Scriptures looking for something that Jesus did that we don't, believing that if we could be more like him that the world would see our love and goodness and respond. In spite of their good intentions, when people approach Scripture with presuppositions error is often the end result. 

True followers of Christ need to remember that being liked by the world has never been a characteristic of godliness. The opposite is true. No one was more like Jesus than Jesus and the world crucified him. The reward of living for Christ is not found in this life or in the responses of those who are outside the faith. The reward is in the next life and in the response of our Heavenly Father. 

The final question is more difficult. How does the church avoid conflict and division? The question is over 2000 years old. As long as churches are led by and filled with people the challenge will remain. The church will do better when it is careful in choosing its leaders, cautious in accepting new teaching and consistent in its commitment to Scripture as ultimate authority. It is when we are known primarily by the love we have for one another and not by our love for the world that unity can blossom.

- Bart

Follow me on twitter @bartbarrettmd. Comments are welcome!

Missing From the Pulpit- Fear

 Teaching the Bible makes me nervous, especially when I am invited by a church to preach on a Sunday morning. The pulpit is a scary place. While I can deal with life and death situations in the office without batting an eye, I approach every sermon opportunity with a healthy dose of concern and anxiety.

I am nervous because I take teaching the Bible seriously. The thought of making a mistake, of leading people astray or causing them to stumble, brings significant fear. It is a tremendous privilege and honor to teach God’s Word and I want to do my very best. I spend hours in preparation, typically going through 8 drafts of a sermon before I feel ready to teach. Even then I am often making adjustments the morning of the message.

My preparation is not limited to the content of the message I deliver. I spend time preparing myself on the outside as well. When invited to a church for the first time one of my first questions is, “What is the dress code?” I do not want anyone to be distracted by what I wear and I want my attire to communicate seriousness and dignity. I always wear dress slacks and a collared shirt and have worn coat and tie on several occasions. I want to respect the pulpit and the congregation. When in doubt I error on the side of formality. 

The seriousness with which I approach the pulpit appears to be outdated. Dignity and respect seem to be viewed by many current pastors as negative attributes. In many cases it seems little thought is given to the feelings of those in attendance. At times I feel as if the feelings and attitudes of the congregation, particularly older members, are treated with disdain. Casualness in dress and informal speech are badges of honor, a statement that the speaker has broken free from meaningless traditions. If there is a line marking the boundary between appropriate and inappropriate speech or appearance many modern preachers appear to have the goal of walking as close to that line as they possibly can. Edginess, hipness and relatability have surpassed dignity, integrity and respect in the hierarchy of pastoral values.

The words of James in his letter to the church at large hundreds of years ago seem to have been forgotten. He cautioned, “Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.” Because we are often the face of the church, teachers need to be better than everybody else. We need to be examples of excellence, grace and decorum. Instead of living on the edge we need to be raising the bar.

I have heard some express concern that such formality may be harmful, that church services and sermons need to be accessible and relevant to young people. These concerns lead to some pastors sharing stories and jokes of questionable taste in the name of accessibility and authenticity. What is missed is the fact that those who want maturity and decorum from the pulpit are not out of touch or out of date. They are correct!

Consider the instructions given by the Apostle Paul to his very young pastor protégé Timothy. Paul gave Timothy specific advice on how he was to handle himself in the church. “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” Paul’s words strike a powerful contrast to the positions of many modern preachers. According to Paul, the young man should act like a mature man, not the other way around.

With this in mind, I offer some advice to those who feel called to preach. Be afraid. Be fearful of dishonoring your calling, of being a poor example, and of disrespecting those you serve. A stricter judgment awaits you.

- Bart

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The Baby is Healthy, but the Doctor Needs Surgery- An Amazing Childbirth Story

Moments before delivery, the concerned mom paused to ask the doctor, "Are you okay?"

Very few woman choose natural childbirth, mostly because it hurts really bad and epidural pain relief is safe and effective. This patient was the exception. She was determined to deliver her baby naturally, no medications at all. As a result during labor she could move and position herself as she pleased.

When it came time to begin pushing, she asked the nurse if she could squat at the end of the bed so she could push more effectively. The nurse and I found a "squat bar," attached it to the bed and helped her position herself for the final stages of labor.

Between contractions she rested, and then with each labor pain she lowered herself into a deep squat, hung on to the bar and pushed, her lower half a few feet off of the floor. While this was an effective pushing position it made it difficult for me to monitor her progress! I needed to kneel to perform an exam. When I thought the moment of birth was near, I again squatted down to check the baby's head position as she pushed.

As I settled into the squat, I suddenly felt searing pain as the reconstructed anterior cruciate ligament in my left knee exploded, my leg buckled and gave way beneath me. I felt myself falling and, almost in slow motion, I stumbled forward. In a panic I reached out my hand and grabbed the delivery table to catch myself, stopping my face mere inches from experiencing an embarrassing head on collision with the baby. (Not sure how I would have explained that to the dad!). The baby's head was "crowning" meaning the top the head was just emerging and delivery was moments away!

I gathered myself, balancing on my good leg. Pain had drained color from my face and I felt droplets of cold sweat appear on my forehead. The contraction ended and the mother looked at me with a concerned look on her face and asked, "Doctor, are you okay?" I wasn't, but it didn't matter. It was time.

I turned to the nurse, "Can you check and see if there are any other doctors on the floor?" I was not sure I could complete the delivery. The nurse picked up the phone and called the nurse's station. She turned back to me, shaking her head, "No one is here but you."

I took a deep breath and replied, "I think I am going to need a stool!"

The nurse wheeled a stool over and lowered the bed so I could be seated while the baby was born. Within a few minutes the baby arrived, fortunately without any difficulty or complications. Once I was sure mom and baby were fine, I hobbled out of the room. Leaving behind a happy family and a memorable story!

I was not at my best, but I was the only doctor available. There were no other options. It was an “Apollo 13” moment, failure was not an option!

I wonder if maybe Mary's husband Joseph didn't feel similarly incapable the night Jesus was born. Young, inexperienced and alone, there were no other options available. A teen-aged mother and a young man had no choice but to trust God and do their best.

Isn't that life in a nutshell? So many times we find ourselves in challenging circumstances, overwhelmed and seemingly alone. In those moments trusting God is so crucial. We must do the best we can, knowing that the God who "delivers" will "deliver" us again.

- Bart

This post was originally published 2 years ago, I share it again this Christmas in the hope that it will give perspective as we approach again the season of the year in which the Savior was born. Feel free to share it with others, or offer comments below.

Authenticity and Transparency are Overrated

I do not understand modern Christian values. When it comes to what is acceptable in the church I feel like a moral Rip Van Winkle, as if I fell asleep twenty years ago and have awakened to a whole new way of doing things.

The church I grew up in valued character, godliness and (gasp) holiness. People were supposed to do the right things, believe the right things and say the right things. We were wretched sinners and we knew it, but our goal was to be less wretched with each passing day. We worked to be different, to be better. Foul language was foul, revealing clothes were inappropriate, and crudeness was crude. No one talked about “being true to yourself” because ourselves were sinful and not worth being true too.

Everything has changed.

I listened recently to the podcast of a prominent Christian teacher. In the podcast he and a friend were talking about the struggles and challenges they had faced in their lives. They shared stories of loss and suffering that were real. In the midst of these stories their values were revealed. They spoke of other Christians with an air of condescension, castigating those who responded to their struggles with what they considered clichéd and shallow platitudes. They implied that these people were less Christian and less loving. They did not consider those well-meaning but misspeaking people simply mistaken, they considered them wrong and hurtful and deserving of being called out.

Profanity was also a part of the podcast. Proudly and without apology the pastor and his friend used language that was unprofessional and crude. It was clear that they had no problem using this language and that they thought it was silly for anyone to take offense. What was also clear was that they had no aspirations to improve the content of their speech. The social mores and standards followed by people like me were to them artificial and outdated and not worth following.

How could this happen? How could people who purport to be spiritual leaders be so lacking in grace and honor?

The answer is found in the comments people posted about the podcast. In the comments the speakers were repeatedly praised for being “transparent” and “authentic.” Transparency and authenticity seem to have become the most important values in "modern" churches. Because we are all sinners what is most important is not dealing with our sin but accepting our sinfulness. Because we all struggle what matters is sharing your failings, not recounting victories. Because Jesus accepts us as we are what is important is loving ourselves as we are.

As warm and affirming as this sounds, it is not what God desires. While God understands our brokenness and our sinfulness, He did not send His Son to die so we could remain in our fallen condition. Jesus died that we might have new life, not that we feel comfortable in our old lives.

It seems some have cast aside those passages of scripture that call us to be better, that call us to aspire to be more like Jesus not only in love and kindness but also in words and character. I believe that we need to remember that God calls us to be better than we are. As Paul wrote to his disciple Timothy-

“Set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.” 1 Tim 4:12-13

The God who calls his people to “Be Holy, for I am Holy” wants his people to break free from the world’s practices and desires, to be well-rounded people of faith who, in every area of their lives, strive for the excellence displayed in Jesus. The apostle Paul said it well in another of his letters-

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me — put it into practice." Phil 4:8-9 NIV

Authenticity and transparency are of no value in and of themselves. There is no praise due those who are authentically crude and transparently selfish. We need to pursue lives that are authentically and transparently good, pure, just, holy, loving and godly. We need to be better.

-          Bart

Thanks for reading. Coming in a few days is the second Amazing Childbirth Story, a series of posts leading up to the birth of Christ. You can be sure not to miss posts by subscribing to the blog (posts will arrive in your inbox). Please share the blog with others by clicking on one of the social media icons below. 

You're an Adulterer. You Just Don't Realize it. Adultery Part 7

The tendency to commit adultery and to think immorally about sex is a characteristic of all humanity. It is a natural expression of mankind’s sinful nature.

God gave Moses the commandment against adultery knowing full well of man’s tendency to commit sexual immorality. An infinitely wise and all-knowing God would not have given a prohibition against adultery if only a few people were apt to fall into the sin. God knew then, and knows now, that sexual immorality is common. In my many years of practice I have seen this truth proven over and over again. The natural sex drive that God designed to be fulfilled in marriage is easily perverted into something else. Research provides further confirmation. I have seen surveys in which 5–25 percent3 of married individuals admit to infidelity. The sin is remarkably common.

The fact that 75–95 percent of individuals claim to be faithful does not mean that these people are guilt-free. When we consider Jesus’ teaching that men who wrongly view women are guilty as well, there are very few innocent people. It appears that the majority of people struggle with adultery. “You shall not commit adultery” is clearly on God’s top ten list for good reason. Just as murder resulted from devaluing human life, so too, adultery is a result of devaluing sexual intimacy.

As plain as it is that God intended sexual intimacy to be a foundation for the marital bond, I believe that there is much more to the union than a physical connection. Faithfulness in marriage means more than simply avoiding sexual sin. Physical intimacy is the most tangible expression of the intimacy of marriage, but the bond goes far beyond mere sexuality. The oneness God described in the Genesis account includes intimate emotions, thoughts, and words, nonphysical things that are not to be shared outside of marriage. Jesus’ words on adultery illustrate the truth that such thoughts and feelings are important.

When Jesus warned against looking at a woman with lust in the heart, He was referring to a woman who was not a man’s wife. (It is rather difficult to commit adultery with one’s spouse!) I believe it is appropriate to look at one’s wife with desire. The longing to be with one’s spouse is part of a healthy marriage, desiring someone else is not. Implied in Jesus’ teaching is the truth that the desire for sex, and the look that accompanies that desire, are the sole property of one’s spouse. If a husband gives such a look to another woman, he is giving away something that only his wife deserves. The marital bond is weakened not only because a lustful look separates sex from marital intimacy but also because the look itself belongs only to one’s spouse.

When a marital partner shares with another that which rightly should only be shared with a spouse, he/she violates intimacy and trust. This breach makes adultery especially harmful. There are things in a marriage that are meant to be unique to a marriage. The marriage bed is the most sacred of these trusts, but there are others as well. Just as looking at another person as a source of pleasure is a type of adultery, so also is giving to another person anything that rightfully belongs only to one’s spouse.

As I reflect on my own marriage I can think of a number of things that belong only to my wife. In addition to my physical self, only she deserves my sexual desires. To her alone belong my admiring stares and flirtatious smiles. To her alone belongs my heart. No other woman deserves to know my deepest thoughts and fears, my greatest hopes and dreams. The deeper things of my heart are hers and hers alone.

There are words that belong solely to my wife as well. There are compliments that carry with them an admiration and appreciation that rightfully belong only to my wife. While I may tell another woman that her new haircut looks nice or compliment the color of a new outfit, I should not give any praise that communicates any sexual desire. Compliments such as “You look beautiful,” “You have the prettiest eyes,” or at times even something as seemingly innocuous as “You look really nice today,” may be wrongfully giving away admiration that belongs to my wife. Wisdom demands that I be careful in what I say.

Out of love and respect for my wife I have chosen to avoid giving other women any compliments that might make a woman think she was an object of my desire. I will never compliment another woman in a way that might make my wife uncomfortable or jealous. Years ago I was discussing these things with a neighbor of mine. He thought I was being foolish and legalistic. To him words were harmless. As a salesman, he regularly would compliment other women, telling them they were beautiful or that they looked great. I shared with him that I thought that was “verbal adultery,” that certain types of praise, particularly praise of someone’s physical appearance, could easily be interpreted as expressions of desire or as a type of flirtation. For that reason I felt it best that no woman except for a man’s wife should be addressed in this way. Although he could not understand it at the time, as he grew in his faith he realized the wisdom in what I was sharing and changed his behavior.

I have taken steps to intentionally put these attitudes into practice. As a man who has female employees I have learned what to say and not say. I carefully choose words that cannot be misinterpreted as flirtatious. I am very careful in how I compliment female patients. I make a conscious effort to compliment actions (such as losing weight) rather than appearance.

It is not just words of praise that should only be given to my wife. There are specific types of attention and time that should not be shared with other women either. Included on the list of things that belong to my wife is intimate time alone. It is very dangerous for a man to spend time alone with another woman. Great caution should be used when it comes to lunches, dinners, or meetings in private. There are very few men who spend so much time with their wives that they have any extra time to share with another woman! I believe that intimate friendships with members of the opposite sex should be avoided, as it is inevitable that things will be shared with such a “friend” that rightfully should have been shared with a spouse.

If we truly desire to follow the spirit of God’s instructions regarding sexuality and marriage, we will do whatever we can to preserve all of the types of intimacy marriage includes. Practically speaking, asking ourselves the question “Do these words, actions, or thoughts rightfully belong to my spouse?” will keep us out of a lot of trouble! Just as wrong thinking leads to sin, right thinking leads to godly behavior. When I began to consider all of what belongs to my wife, my behavior changed. Movies with nudity and sexually provocative content became even more inappropriate. I did not want to give desirous looks to any woman, including one on a movie screen. I began to carefully watch my words. I starting turning down some invitations. As I did, I grew in love and appreciation of the wife God gave me.

- Bart

This is the 7th post in a series on adultery excerpted from my book Life Medicine. The book can be purchased on Amazon. A small group study guide is available here. If you have a church group interested in the book, I will gladly donate the books for a group study. Contact me through this site. If you have questions or comments please share them! Most of all please consider sharing this post with your friends.