We’re not that SPECIAL

The incredibles is one of the greatest movies of all time. I loved it the first time I saw it, so much so that we went back and saw it again the next day. It's one of those movies that gets better with age, and for me, it gets deeper too.

The movie’s villain uses gadgetry to do super human things, (and gain victory over true “Supers”) then declares his plan to use these fake superpowers to become famous and then sell those power giving gadgets to other people.

His ultimate goal is to diminish super heroes by making them common. He tells the Incredibles- “When everyone is super, no one will be!”

The depth and the meaning in that line is amazing.

The villain was a normal boy who lacked the powers of his heroes but whose lifelong dream was to be recognized as “super.” When Mr. Incredible didn’t accept him as special, he made it his goal to ruin the few people in the world who were truly exceptional.

What an analogy for our culture today. No one is content with being normal or average. Everybody wants to be special, to be better than everybody else and recognized by the world, and they will do just about anything to achieve that status. This is borne out by recent surveys of high school students asked about their career aspirations. At the top of list of desired professions was: social media influencer.

You read that right, more than doctors, lawyers, nurses, school teachers, police officers, or firemen, young people of today simply want to be famous. They want to be special. Make the world a better place? Not interested. Make a difference in a child’s life? Whatever. Get a lot of likes and clicks? Sign me up!

These young people are headed for a rude awakening. It is impossible for everybody to famous, super, or special, and the truth is, very few people are. There are over 8 billion people on planet earth. And most of us just aren't that special, and by definition, half of us are below average. In the grand scheme of things, most of us don't make that much of a difference in the world.

This has been the way of things forever, but it seems this reality is unacceptable to many Americans, particularly those who are young. I have read a number of different explanations for this “gotta be special” mentality, from an addiction to “likes” on social media to the consequences of “everybody gets a trophy” participation awards to child centered parenting, but I wonder if something else is to blame. I wonder if it might be due to the rise of humanism in America. (Bear with me while I explain.)

In the not too distant past, America was a nation of near universally shared values. While rooted in Judeo-Christian traditions, these values spanned many different faiths. These values included such things as belief in family, truth telling, the value of hard work, integrity, keeping one’s word, traditional marriage, and kindness. Success, for most people, was measured by a person’s character. Moral values mattered so much that a wealthy person who lacked these virtues was often viewed as a failure.

To put it another way, being a good person made you special, and the recognition of your goodness by family, friends, and your faith community is what mattered. (Before the advent of social media the admiration of strangers was impossible.)

Nowadays I rarely, if ever, meet someone who as a strong sense of morality, much less anyone who aspires to be a good person. I probably shouldn’t be surprised by the fact that people in a microwave, fast food, instant gratification world feel this way. Being a noble person requires effort and takes work, typically over a long period of time.

Humanism is attractive because it offers a faster and easier path to praise. Being “true to yourself” has replaced “being a good person” as the highest form of praise, but it brings with it an unexpected problem.

When everyone is being “true to themselves”, being true to yourself isn’t special anymore. Unless the “self” you are being “true to” is dramatically different.

We see this desperation everywhere, in the extreme ways people alter their physical appearance, express their sexuality and self identify. The self worth created by such extremes will not last, as history as taught us yesterday’s fad will be tomorrow’s norm. (Old folks like me remember when tattoos and piercings were rare!)

The solution to the specialness dilemma is not flashy or popular, but it has endured through the ages. People who find their value in the eyes of God, the love of their family and in service to others will find a deep sense of wellbeing that transcends the temporary and provides something far greater than mere happiness or pleasure.

They will find joy.

- Bart



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