Fighting to be Thankful

I woke up Thanksgiving morning feeling more stressed than thankful. While not unaware of the blessings that fill my life, these blessings have recently taken a back seat to stress. Turnover in the office, conflict in some relationships, a recurrence of chronic pain issues and even a sick dog have weighed heavily on my mind. My morning began with a tinge of sadness and I found myself reflecting on more negatives than positives.

A tweet helped change my mind.

The tweet was from Don Willett, Texas Supreme Court Justice. It featured the picture in this post with the comment, “This Thanksgiving, remember with gratitude America’s peerless military, far from home & close to danger.” I did what as Justice Willet suggested, and took time to remember the blessings secured and preserved by the millions of men and women who have served.

I remembered that I live in a free nation, with a free economy in which I am blessed not only to have a job, but to own my own business. I go to work when I choose, leave when I choose, pay my employees what I choose to pay them and am free to do what I believe is in my patients’ best interests.

I am free to worship. Each Sunday morning, I wake up with the ability to not only go to church, but to choose which church to go to. The pastors are free to preach whatever they want without fear of recrimination or arrest. I am free to give to the church of my choice and the money I give is not taxed by the government.

I am free to vote. I may not always like the choices I find in the ballot booth but I am free to vote, or not vote, for whomever I want. The candidates are chosen by the people, not by the government.

I am free to speak out. I can criticize the government, I can march against perceived oppression, and can stand on a street corner with a sign supporting or denouncing any cause or position I choose.

I have all of these rights and hundreds more because someone else fought for them. My ability to sit with my family to eat Thanksgiving dinner today exists because of others who have sacrificed time with their families in order to preserve my freedoms, which is a lot to be thankful for.

Bart

 

A Silly Game, Enduring Values

It was a stupid, simplistic table game. As we were too young to know we should have been bored to tears by its lack of sophistication we played it over and over. The game was called “'Tis so” and it was based on the Old Testament book of Proverbs. Its purpose was to teach proverbs to young kids. It worked.

The game consisted of small 1.5 inch by 0.5 inch pieces of cardboard that each had a portion of a proverb written on one side. Proverbs were divided into three sections with the words for a particular proverb all written with the same color font. The goal was to collect the three parts of a proverb and then lay them out in front of you in a fashion similar to the card game “Go Fish.” The player who had the most proverbs in front of them won the game. Pretty simple concept but it had a profound impact on me.

It was through this game that I learned a proverb that has shaped my life-

A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver and gold. Proverbs 22:1

I was only 10 years old but I understood what the verse meant. There is nothing in life more important than your character. It was clear to me that if I was ever forced to choose between doing the right thing and making money that the right thing should always win out. Good men never count the cost before doing the right thing. From that time on I set my sights on the lofty goal of being a good man. Although I ended up pursuing a well paying job wealth was irrelevant compared to integrity. What mattered the most was who I was inside, not the stuff I possessed.

I have worked hard to instill this value in my children. When my son was in 4th grade we went to his parent/teacher conference. When we sat down with the teacher she briefly mentioned some behavioral issues our son had displayed, that he had been mean to a special needs child. She quickly told us that the issue had been dealt with and then tried to move on to a discussion of his stellar academic performance.

To her surprise and chagrin we had no interest in discussing his classroom performance. “I know he is smart,” I said, “I am more concerned about his character.” I told her I would rather my son be a trash collector with character than a dishonest President of the United States. I backed up my beliefs when we went home.

We learned that he and another student had been picking on another child while they all played on the school's new and very popular playground equipment. We told him that he was banned from that equipment for the rest of the school year, a total of 8 months. “Every time you see the other kids having fun on that playground I want you to remember why you can’t" I said,  “We are Barretts, we don’t pick on the weak, we defend them.” We said nothing about his academic success. Both my son and his teacher learned that day that in our eyes character was more important than worldly success.

It seems that the values found in Proverbs 22:1 are increasingly on the decline in our nation. We just completed an election cycle led by individuals who seem to believe that character is irrelevant. All that mattered was winning by any means possible. This seems to be the  new American way, which means we have lost out way as a nation. People cheat in business, on exams and in their marriages. There was once a time when a handshake sealed an agreement, we now live in an era where promises are made to be broken. 

I cannot change America but I may still be able to make a difference. It is my hope and prayer that I will be a honorable and trustworthy man and as a result encourage those around me to do the same. I may not end up rich, but perhaps I can leave this world with something of greater value. A good name.

Bart

Respect. The Lost American Value

He was in his twenties, had a high school diploma and no college, and was the manager of a shoe store in an aging open air mall. I was terrified of him. I worked in the strip mall and he was my manager. He was a shoe selling wizard, a company man devoted to footwear excellence. I was 17 and a senior in high school, working for $3 an hour plus commission. Every time I worked with him I was nervous.

My fear and respect of managers persisted in the years to come. After I graduated high school I worked on the loading dock at a Montgomery Ward store in Costa Mesa, California, where I found myself again intimidated, this time by the dock manager and the other workers. They were all bigger, older and stronger than me. During my brief time there I was constantly fearful that I would fall shirt and fail to meet expectations.

After I moved out of the house I worked as a box boy for a Vons supermarket in Whittier, California. The manager was a man named Tom Moore who had a perfect haircut, a full mustache and a strong personality. He had worked his way up from box boy to store manager in the company and managed several stores. He had no education beyond high school but he knew what he was doing and was good at it. I respected and feared him.

Looking back, I realize that these managers were not the type of man many would now find remarkable. They were not highly educated and did not seem to possess broad based skills. They were simply good at what they did. I did not know it at the time but I possessed more innate managerial talent and leadership potential and was probably more intelligent. They did nothing to earn my respect or to prove themselves to be my intellectual superior but I respected them all the same.

I respected them because they were in authority over me. I knew nothing about their moral character, school grade point averages, SAT scores or personal lives. They could have been terrible people outside of work. In spite of all of this, I respected them from the moment I started each job. That is how I was taught bosses were supposed to be treated.

The world has changed. Respect for position and authority has almost completely disappeared from our culture. I have seen this in my own profession. I have had my knowledge and authority questioned by job applicants and patients who knew nothing about my record of success or commitment to excellence. I have been cussed at by 10 year-olds and had my advice dismissed out of hand by millenials who believed that a semester of psychology and the ability to perform a Google search rendered them my medical equal.

The lack of respect in the current generation has not only damaged professional relationships, it has inhibited learning. While some would consider my high school educated managers to be inferior, they were not. I learned something from all of them that I could not have learned on my own. Richard, my shoe store manager, taught me how to sell, the importance of asking for help, and how to relate to others. On the loading dock I learned how to organize, pack, and move a refrigerator safely. Tom Moore taught me about business, how to manage large groups of people and the importance of improving overall company performance and not just individual work. I could write multiple pages of the lessons learned from every less educated manager for whom I worked.

Most importantly, they taught me the importance of respect and the value of submission to authority.

Bart

&%#@- Words Matter

“It was f---ing crazy!”

Foul language doesn’t usually surprise me. Over the last few decades vulgar speech has become increasingly common and can be heard in almost every setting and circumstance. This particular instance of the f-bomb caught me off guard because of the speech that had preceded it.

The F-bomber and I had just been engaged in a casual conversation at the gym. We do not know each other well but we have had a number of gym conversations, enough for us to know one another’s professions and injuries. There had also been enough passing references to faith to lead us to consider one another to be Christians. On this particular evening he had talked about his pastor and how he had been helping the pastor get in better shape.

Thirty seconds later, while talking with someone else in the gym, his speech became more colorful. I was surprised, not by the fact that he swore, but at the ease with which he transitioned from spiritual to vulgar dialogue. It was clear that he did not think word choice mattered at all.

The next morning I had a medical appointment to get my knee brace adjusted. The brace adjuster is a nice man I have seen on a number of occasions to get my custom brace sized and fitted. In the course of our session I had learned that he was active in his church, hosting a small group Bible study and serving as a camp counselor for a week each summer at a camp for troubled children. In the course of my brief visit with him he used all of the language I had heard in the gym the night before. He did so with ease and without hesitation. It was clear that this was how he talked all of the time. I drove home thinking, “When did Christians quit caring about the language they used?”

My childhood home was anything but Christian and vulgarity was common. My step-father had been a sailor and he cursed like one. Like the father in the movie “A Christmas Story” profanity was an art form to my step-dad. In spite of his foul language I grew up with a clear understanding of the difference between good words and bad words. I learned that good people used good words whenever possible.

While I may be out of touch with current social mores, my sense that there are words that should not be spoken by good people, particularly Christians, is not a belief of my own invention. The idea that there is speech unbecoming godly people was clearly described by the apostle Paul almost two thousand years ago-

“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” Eph 5:3-4 NIV

Paul makes it clear that what we say matters. Christians are to be heavenly minded people who are continually thinking of the world in the context of their faith. As people who embrace the reality that we have been saved from our sin and called to be different we should seek to be better and different in every aspect of our lives. The desire to be different and better should extend to our speech as well as our actions. True followers of Christ take His teaching that “the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart.”

Taking Jesus’ words to heart leads to the conclusion that our words matter. When, over and over again, God calls His people to be holy, he is calling His people to be clearly distinct from the world around them. It seems this teaching that Christians need to strive for higher standards of behavior has been swept under the church carpet.

My greatest concern is not that Christians use bad words. Far more important is what the casual use of profanity represents. Too many Christians are no longer concerned with sin. Excellence is no longer a virtue or a goal. It seems that many believe it more important to display our commonality with those outside the church than it is to show our differences. We are more concerned with being “one of the guys” than we are with being “one of the chosen.”

People of faith will do well to consider Paul’s instructions in a letter to his friend and protégé Timothy to “set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.” 1 Tim 4:12

Bart

Thanks for reading and for sharing. Comments and questions are welcomed. 

 

 

Going Through Life With Blinders On

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His life could be better, if he took the time to actually focus on it. Unfortunately  he was too busy to prioritize his health. He had high blood pressure and cholesterol but did not exercise or watch his diet as he should. He battled anxiety and took medication every day to keep it in check. I recommended counseling and he agreed that it would be helpful but did not see how he could fit it into his schedule.

I wondered if he had people in his life who could encourage him and help him with his priorities so I asked him about other sources of emotional and spiritual support, if he had any faith or was a member of any church. He told me he had been raised Catholic but had left the church many years before in the wake of  a scandal involving one of the parish priests. He didn't have much use for faith any more and didn't give God much thought. He was too busy going through life, doing his job, raising his children and supporting his family.

He told me that he went through life with blinders on. He figured that he was a pretty good person, that he was doing his best and that he was therefore confident that he would be okay with God, if there was one, when the time came. He didn't believe in an afterlife but thought if there was one it would be good to see bad people get what they deserved.

As he spoke I realized his words embodied the majority of American’s religious  thinking.  His theology was completely his own, an individualized belief based on personal opinion and unfounded hope. He had never tested his opinions or explored his beliefs. His worldview was convenient, comfortable and superficial. It could not withstand even superficial scrutiny, which did not matter because he never allowed it to be scrutinized. It was what he chose to believe and no one had the right to challenge it.

I tried to encourage him to think a little more deeply about life by sharing with him the observations of Ravi Zacharias, a leader in Christian thought and apologetics. Ravi says that for any worldview to be valid it must answer the four great questions of life, the questions of Origin, Meaning, Morality and Destiny.

Origin- Where did we come from? What is the source of matter, energy and life? 

Meaning- Why are we here? What is the purpose of life? What are the goals of existence?

Morality- How do we define good and evil? Why does evil exist and where does it come from? 

Destiny- What happens to us when we die?

I should not have been surprised that these questions had no impact on him. It is a lot easier to go through life pretending there are no questions than it is to search for answers. The problem he will face is that these questions do have answers, truths that exist independent of his interest or belief, truths for which all men, including him, will one day have to the give account.

His refusal to address his physical issues may result in serious harm later in life. His refusal to address spiritual issues will impact him in the life to come. 

Someday, the blinders will come off. 

- Bart 

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