Ask and You Shall Receive

My friend Jeff asked for Bible references that showed how God feels about cheating. There are many- here are a few:

Lev 19:35-36 Do not use dishonest standards when measuring length, weight or quantity. 36 Use honest scales and honest weights, an honest ephah and an honest hin. I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt.

Prov 11:1  The Lord abhors dishonest scales, but accurate weights are his delight.

Prov 20:23 The Lord detests differing weights, and dishonest scales do not please him.

Lev 19:15 Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, b

Isa 61:8  For I, the Lord, love justice; I hate robbery and iniquity.

Prov 22:1- A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.

There is more where these came from!

Cutting Corners to Get Ahead? God's Not Impressed

If you read through the Bible you will see many passages concerning fairness. Not the "everybody should get the same as everybody else" kind of fairness, but the "nobody should take unfair advantage of anybody else" kind of fairness. While this seems like it should be a basic value it seems to have been lost in our culture. It seems that many people look for any opportunity to get ahead, to get a discount or an edge.

Need evidence? Go to Disneyland. The lesson can be found at the front gate.

As you approach the turnstiles to show your admission ticket you will be greeted by a cast member with a digital device. Your ticket will be scanned and your photo taken. It slows down the whole process entering the park, but the policy is necessary. So many people were buying multiple day passes on the black market that something had to be done to make sure more than one person doesn't fraudulently use the same pass. I have heard from park employees that Disney was losing millions of dollars each year to these fraudulent tickets. People like to cheat.

If we look closely we can see cheating all around us. People lie to get senior citizen discounts, lie to get disability or worker's compensation benefits, cheat on their taxes, do work under the table, anything to make or save a buck.

This is common, but God hates it.

Do we?

The Greatest and Most Important Mother's Day Gift

Lots of cards, presents and phone calls will be made on Mother's Day. I cannot cite any scientific data, but I would bet that when it comes to the most sentimentally mushy day of the year Mother's Day may even surpass Valentine's Day.  (Not everyone has a Valentine, but EVERYBODY has a mom!) What do you do for Mother's Day?

Logging into Facebook on Mother's Day I was greeted by post after post of friends praising their mothers. I naturally thought of my mother and how she struggled with even the most basic aspects of mothering. For my mother, mental illness and alcoholism made mothering difficult. She did her best, but her best was not very good in the end. I then thought of others who have moms and about their relationships. My thoughts turned to two long standing patients for whom Mother's Day brings different struggles. I will call them L and S.

L's mom is a woman who loves to laugh and sing, a devoted wife and mother. She is still alive, but much of who she is has been lost. She lives in a facility separate from her husband, sharing a room with a stranger. Basic bodily functions are becoming hard to control and continence is an issue. She can no longer care for herself. She recognizes family members, but quickly forgets all recent events. L remains devoted. She visits her mom regularly and patiently and consistently advocates for her, making sure all of her needs are met even though her mom will not likely remember the part L played in meeting them.

S's mom still lives at home with her. Her mom is one of the funniest ladies I have met. She always brings smiles with her into the office. She remains positive in spite of severe back pain from a narrowed spinal column that compresses her spine. She has a hard time communicating the specific nature of her pain, so she has suffered for a long time.

In addition to her back pain, she has severe anxiety disorder. She gets extremely frightened at night and can only be calmed by the presence of S by her side. What can S do? She stays with her mom every night, sharing a bed with her, sacrificing some of her sleep to comfort her mom.

While the two moms do not know one another, they have much in common. They both suffer from Alzheimer's Disease. They did nothing to bring on the disease and there is nothing they can do to stop it. It is slowly taking them away from their loved ones, making every day a struggle. They are also blessed with devoted daughters who truly understand how to say “Thank You” to a mom. The greatest gift anyone can give to their mother is their love and their time.

L and S understand the preciousness of every moment they share with their mothers. More than anyone they know how quickly those we love can be lost. They also live the truth that mothers need to be thanked and loved every day of their lives, for we can never know how many days remain.

This Mother's Day, let's make a pledge to give as much love and time to our moms as we can. There is no greater gift.

Great Advice- from Wheel of Fortune.

Life lessons appear in unexpected places. I went on Wheel of Fortune in 1984 hoping to win prizes (which I did!) I did not expect to gain lasting wisdom, but that was exactly what happened during rehearsals.

When I was a contestant on Wheel of Fortune, the producer said something I will never forget. As we were preparing for the taping he greeted us with a smile as he bellowed out a question, "Who is here to win money?"

The contestants let out a collective whoop of affirmation.

His face got serious. "You think you are here to win money, but you are wrong. Don't believe me? Wait until you are on the show, when it is almost over and you have no money. Your prayer will not be- 'God let me win'. Your prayer will be- 'God, please don't let me look stupid in front of millions of people!"

He then reminded us of the smart way to play the game.

In his brief advice he identified one of the driving forces of human nature, the desire to not look stupid in front of other people. No one wants to be embarrassed.

This fact makes the words of the Apostle Paul in the first of his letters to the church at Corinth disturbing. He writes that the Christian message is foolishness to those outside of the Christian faith. He describes Gentiles (non Jewish non-believers) as people who seek after knowledge, people who pursue a full understanding and explanation of the world around them. People such as these, according to Paul, think the Christian message makes no sense at all.

Apparently, if we don't want to feel stupid, if we don't want other people to think us foolish, we shouldn't be Christians! Paul makes it clear that the "smart" people of the world cannot understand what we believe at all.

In some ways this is discouraging but in others it is not. It is a reminder that we should look to God alone for hope and encouragement. We need to live as people more concerned with the opinion of Eternal God than the opinions of mortal men. 

We are all stupidly and needlessly afraid

Fear causes people to do stupid things. 

Last week a patient came in for a visit. She has diabetes, high blood pressure, significant anemia and a history of blood clots. Since she has so many medical problems I had instructed her to come in for follow up at three month intervals. Over a year had gone by since I had seen her last. It had taken multiple phone calls from staff and a refusal to refill a medication to finally get her to return.

I asked her why it had taken so long.

"I was afraid," was her answer, "I thought you would be mad at me!"

Even though this was not the first time someone has declared me to be a frightening person I was still surprised. I am her doctor, not her dad! What is there to be afraid of? I can't really do anything to her, I have no way to punish her, yet she was afraid. All I want for her is for her to be healthy, to help her help herself. Why would she be afraid?

The answer is simple. She is afraid because she is a person,  and people live in fear of things.

While the specific fears may vary, we all are afraid of something. We are afraid of big things such as death, disability and financial ruin, and we are afraid of little things such as embarrassment, darkness and spiders. (Why is it that EVERY nurse that has ever worked me is afraid of spiders?)

And yet, the Bible tells us that fear is a completely useless feeling, that it has no place at all in the life of a believer. Why? John the Apostle explained in a letter to the church- "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment."

He makes the point that while people are afraid of bad things happening to them, Christians need not be because we are perfectly and completely loved by God and need not fear ultimate punishment. 

Earlier in his letter he described the love that God has for His people, writing "See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"

We are so like my patient. God loves us, cares for us and sent His Son to die for us, yet we hide from Him due to a  foolish and misguided fear of punishment.

We need to set our fear aside and see ourselves as He sees us, as perfectly loved children. Children loved by a gracious Father who will never forsake us.