I recently heard a devastating report about a Christian man I have known for a long time. A successful businessman who has been married for many years, I had always believed him to be a faithful man who was dedicated to his wife. I was wrong.
It seems that he fell into a common internet trap. As it was the direct result of an immoral act on his part he could not blame anyone else for his mistake. He followed a link about meeting single women, going so far as to actually meet with someone. Common sense finally kicked in during that meeting and he went no further, but he went far enough to reveal disturbing and hurtful truths about his character and his thinking.
Beyond the obvious moral failings in his actions was the greater moral failing of his thoughts and attitudes toward his wife. In the statements on his profile and with his subsequent actions he declared to the world that his wife was not enough for him. He needed more. He deserved more and he wanted more.
How devastating this must have been to her. Any feelings of adequacy and security must have evaporated in an instant. I wonder if now when she looks in the mirror she is frightened by the changes age has brought or if she lies awake at night wondering what she did wrong. Even though her husband may not have committed the physical act of adultery the wounds to her heart are likely to leave permanent scars.
As I think about their story I naturally reflect on my own marriage and am grateful for a blessing that is often overlooked by others, the blessing of contentment. I am completely fulfilled in my marriage. My wife is all I need, all I want and all I could ever want. She is everything and more to me and she knows it. Because I am content I feel no need to look elsewhere, no reason to think the grass is greener beyond any fence.
I am of the opinion that contentment in a marriage is one of the greatest gifts a spouse can give. It brings peace and security to both husband and wife. Its absence indicates deep problems in the relationship. If you are not content in your marriage, take a step back and ask yourself, "Why not?" As you do, don’t look at what is wrong with your spouse, look at what is wrong with yourself. Why do you want more? Why are you not satisfied with the spouse God has given you?
If you want to gain or maintain contentment in your marriage, take time every day to thank God for your spouse. Make a list of all of the blessings in your life that have come from your husband or wife, making sure that number 1 on the list is- “Thank you God, that they put up with me!”
- Bart
PS: Today marks 32 years of Lisa putting up with me! What a blessing! If you have been touched by this post in any way, please share it with others. You never have to miss a post, you can have them all delivered to your email by subscribing to the blog! Just click on the subscribe button. (upper right on a computer, at the bottom on an ipad or smartphone)