He was one of my heroes. He was a gifted writer and speaker; I purchased his books and listened to his sermons. He was gentle in his demeanor and delivery, but powerful in his arguments. His defenses of the Christian faith were eloquent, articulate, and persuasive. I wished I could be like him, that I could make a lasting impact with my life and words.
I was not alone in my admiration. He was incredibly respected in the Christian community, a much sought after speaker and teacher. He traveled around the world, lecturing and debating at the most prestigious universities. He consistently held his own against the most brilliant secular minds and as a result inspired many to follow Christ. When he died earlier this year I felt like the Christian faith had lost a great mind and a great warrior, one who would be very difficult to replace.
Then the accusations came.
They seemed ludicrous at first, descriptions of grossly immoral behavior that seemed out of character and clearly beneath the man. I was surprised to learn that he was a part owner in a health spa that offered massage services and shocked to read of the multiple female employees who accused him of sexually abusive behavior. Some of them went on the record, claiming that he had repeatedly revealed himself to them during massage sessions, had touched them inappropriately and gone so far as to regularly masturbate in their presence. According to the women, the reason he gave for his egregious behavior was that he “needed to release stress.”
I read the words of the women with a mixture of shock, disgust and anger. I wanted to dismiss the accusations, to write them off as false and malicious, but I couldn’t. The women were not seeking any damages and their stories corroborated one another. They seemed true. Sadly, they were. The organization he founded hired a private investigative firm to research the claims and this week they released the preliminary findings of the investigation- all of the initial accusations were confirmed as true, and many more episodes of abuse were uncovered. He was a fraud.
In the wake of his death his family must now grieve more than his passing. His daughter, the chairman of the board of the ministry organization that bears his name, is left to mourn not just the loss of her father but also the loss of his reputation. Instead of celebrating his life she must now give answers to donors and supporters about his behavior. I cannot begin to imagine the pain his widow must feel as she deals with the reality that he frequently sought sexual pleasure outside of their marriage
How could this happen? How could he betray his message, his ministry and his marriage in such a way?
As I reflect on his story, one thought repeatedly comes to my mind. He was not content with the life and the blessings that God had given him. Consumed with pride, he thought he deserved more.
He was not content with his $500,000 a year salary. He was not content with the love of his wife and children. He was not content with the admiration and praise he got for his ministry. He thought he was special, that he deserved more.
His was not a sin that blossomed overnight. He did not wake up one morning and say, "today is the day I am going to reveal myself to the massage therapist." His symptoms began in his mind, with the thoughts that he needed and deserved more. Even in his 70s, he felt he needed and deserved the touch of younger women, to touch younger women, to be sexually desired by women other than his wife.
More tragically, he quit believing that God was enough. The hope for eternal life, the belief that wonderful blessing awaits those who are faithful, had somehow dimmed in his mind. He turned away from that eternal focus and instead focused on momentary pleasure. This desire so consumed him that he irrationally convinced himself that it was acceptable and appropriate to pleasure himself in the presence of women who were his employees, women who feared for their jobs, and that they would not be believed if they spoke up.
It is easy to shake our heads at such a story, to say that we would never do such a thing. I am not so sure. I have seen too many similar stories in my lifetime, stories of men, Christian leaders, who used their positions of authority to feed their desires. I have seen pastors consumed and addicted to admiration, who have sought praise and attention from women other than their wife. I have cared for pastors who felt there gifts entitled them to material wealth. I have seen other Christian leaders verbally abuse and demean those are served under them.
The Bible is filled with details of leaders who abused their power. The most famous examples are king David, whose lust so consumed him that he murdered a faithful friend so he could bed his wife, and David’s son Solomon who had 700 wives and 300 concubines. As king Solomon built the first temple in Jerusalem and was blessed beyond measure. Sadly, he eventually abandoned his faith to worship the false Gods of his pagan wives.
These stories are a warning to us all. We need to remember who we are and what God has given us. We need to remember that we are wretched sinners, saved by Grace and entitled to nothing. We need to continually remind ourselves that our spouses are gifts to be treasured, honored, and adored. We need to focus on the truth that nothing this life has to offer compares to the blessings that await us in heaven. We need to be content and happy with the lives that God has given us.
Perhaps most importantly, churches need to cast away the culture of celebrity that has invaded our congregations. We need to quit looking for charisma and start emphasizing character. We need to hold our leaders accountable, and set up structures where accountability can happen. If we don’t, we should not be surprised when we see our leaders fail.
Bart
PS: I wrote this post 7 months ago. I decided to share it after listening to the story about the disgrace of another man of faith. Christianity Today has a podcast about the fall of another Christian leader, “The rise and fall of Mars Hill”. It is a sobering cautionary tale of what can happen when churches elevate talent over character. It should be required listening for all church leaders.